Break-up excuse: I'm not good enough for you, not worthy enough/you are too good for me.
Why it sucks in human relationships: This excuse can come in many forms, only a few of which are listed above, but any of its various forms/verbiage aren't fun, whether you are using this excuse or it is being used on you. It sucks because if you are the one using it, you are selling yourself short. If you are the one its being used on then you probably feel as though you are being put on a pedastal and you have no idea how you got there. After all, you are human and not perfect either, how can you be "too good" for someone? It just puts you in an odd place and you don't know how to rectify the notion of being "too good" or "too holy".
Why it sucks when using it with God: Because we aren't good enough for Him. He is too good for us. True, we are made in His image, but is a reflection ever as good or as beautiful as the original? Is there any copy of the Mona Lisa as astonishing as the original? Nope. He, in Truth, is perfection itself - how could we ever measure up to such perfection? (These, by the way...or btdubbs if you prefer, are all the lies that Satan tells us, and that we all too easily buy in to, but more on that in a moment.)
Why this excuse doesn't work on God: Because, by His grace, we ARE worthy. Maybe its just the truth that I need to hear most in my life, but you are worthy...hence worthy of Agape. No matter where I go in my life or the struggles I have, this is the Truth that I always come back to (and thanks be to God, the truth that Mr. Irish constantly reminds me of). You are amazing. You are a wonder. God marvels at YOU. He didn't just create Adam and Eve and say that they were good, that's it, the end. He created you and me and He said that it was GOOD when He created each and every one of us. Sure, you are but a reflection of God, but you are a beautiful one, inside and out. The Saints and the Prophets all wondered at the beauty of God. Scripture tells us that no one can behold or see the majesty of God and live - it is only because we are reflections that we can live. With a God that wonderously beautiful, who wouldn't want to be even just the tiniest reflection of such a magnificient beauty? The Mona Lisa, even if it is a copy, is a beautiful painting. Look at an image of The Prodigal Son by Rembrandt and you'll see its beauty - copy or not. We are all images of God, reflections of Him and therefore we all point back to Him. Seeing a copy of The Prodigal Son only makes me want to see the original - the same is true with love, for God is Love.
How to move on: You are a wonder. You are worthy. Never, ever, even for a second, forget or doubt those truths. Believe me when I say that even in the most amazing relationships it is tempting to walk away and say, "you are too good for me" or "I'm not worthy of you" or "I don't deserve someone as amazing as you". Trust me, I'm 99.9% sure you'll have those thoughts even when you find your soulmate. But I've come to realize that we have those thoughts for a reason: they are a call to depend more deeply, more intimately on Christ, on His grace and His love. Mr. Irish is no doubt wonderful, but he is only a reflection of God and loving him challenges me to love Him more. Seeing the love that Mr. Irish has for me only makes me want to see The Original more because the love that He has for me is deeper...it is eternal, it has always been there and will always be there. (This is not to say that the love Mr. Irish has for me isn't eternal, but it hasn't always been there, because we exist in time whereas the love that God has for us it outside of time. Confused? Check out C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity for a great explanation of God being outside of time.)
So how do you move on?
In human relationships: Remember that you are amazing. That even though, from time to time (or even for really long periods of time) you feel unworthy or not good enough, know that by His grace you are. Recognize that those feelings of unworthiness point to our lack of God. Our "God tank", much like our gas tanks in our cars, are running on low. Cling to God, ask Him to show you how much He loves you and how worthy He sees you as and I can promise you that your human relationships will improve.
In your relationship with God: Sit in silence with God. Let yourself be loved. That last one is SO much easier said than done...in human relationships, but especially in your relationship with God. Allow Him to shower you with His love. Ask Him to show you what He loves about you and believe me, He will. It will blow your mind. Look at The Prodigal Son painting by Rembrandt and imagine yourself as the son being embraced by God. You are worthy. God doesn't hate His own creation, His own children - let Him write His love deeply on your heart and soul.
Christ Jesus, You alone know how unworthy we feel at times. You know how we feel as though we just aren't good enough, for Your love or any other kind of love. Help us to be washed clean of these lies that we buy into from Satan, that we are somehow not good enough, nor will we ever be. Speak into our hearts, into our souls, speak Your love into our lives so that we may never doubt how amazing and worthy we are because of Your sacrifice. AMEN.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
oh, the Waiting.
What are you waiting for?
I'll ask it again, but this time, really think about it...what are you waiting for?
This is the exact same question the priest asked this weekend as I sat at Mass. The first time he asked it I started coming up with the (never-ending) list of things I'm waiting for: upcoming events, i.e. graduations, Christmas parties of all kinds of varieties, Christmas itself, the new year, weddings, job security, you name it, I'm probably waiting for it. Then the priest asked us again, "what are you waiting for?" So...I just kept thinking of more things I want to happen, more that I would love to someday acquire and the list kept going.
Then he asked again, "what are you waiting for?" You might think at this point that this was going to be a boring homily since the priest just kept asking the same question over and over again. But goodness knows my brain can be quite the dense place to be, but it finally hit me. And for that matter, I'd guess I'm not the only one with a dense brain...so if you are in the Dense Brain camp, I'll let you in on what I realized/the priest finally explained: Welcome to Advent, folks - it is a season of waiting.
I hate waiting. Patience is a virtue that I don't possess...even though God is constantly trying to teach it to me. Patience and I aren't friends or even acquaintances and I've never been shy about that. I've even written a few blogs about my complete lack of patience, and not just in certain matters (i.e. Mr. Wonderful to show up, my dream job to fall in my lap, etc.). I love Advent, but I hate waiting in general. I don't like waiting in line for confession, I don't like sitting in traffic, I don't like waiting in lines in stores when I go shopping, I don't like waiting for my paycheck to hit the bank...I just don't like it, which is why it was so easy to come up with the list of things I'm waiting for.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the wanting of things or events isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it comes from a deeper hunger: we want to be happy. We want to be joyful people, so we want things or events to occur in the hopes that we will be happier, more joyful people because of them. But how do we become truly happy, joyful people? We find God. We are, ultimately, looking for, waiting for God...we are waiting for Heaven. The other stuff, the material items, the events are just 'things' along the way to what we are all, deep down, waiting for: eternal bliss.
Welcome to Advent, folks - it is a season of waiting. It is a season of joyful anticipation of the coming of Christ, not so much at Christmas as a baby, not so much for midnight Mass (or the nightmarish parking lot after Mass), not even for the beautiful Christmas presents. It is a joyful anticipation of the second coming of Christ, whether He comes in our life time or whether we pass away and meet Him at those pearly gates. This Advent, let us be joyful in our waiting, joyful in our anticipation and hoping for the coming of Christ. May we also recognize that Christ doesn't just come at Christmas or at the second coming...He comes every day. May our eyes be open to see Him.
"Light that never fades, dispel the mists about us, awaken our faith from sleep" - Liturgy of the Hours, Morning Prayer, Monday, Week One of Advent
I'll ask it again, but this time, really think about it...what are you waiting for?
This is the exact same question the priest asked this weekend as I sat at Mass. The first time he asked it I started coming up with the (never-ending) list of things I'm waiting for: upcoming events, i.e. graduations, Christmas parties of all kinds of varieties, Christmas itself, the new year, weddings, job security, you name it, I'm probably waiting for it. Then the priest asked us again, "what are you waiting for?" So...I just kept thinking of more things I want to happen, more that I would love to someday acquire and the list kept going.
Then he asked again, "what are you waiting for?" You might think at this point that this was going to be a boring homily since the priest just kept asking the same question over and over again. But goodness knows my brain can be quite the dense place to be, but it finally hit me. And for that matter, I'd guess I'm not the only one with a dense brain...so if you are in the Dense Brain camp, I'll let you in on what I realized/the priest finally explained: Welcome to Advent, folks - it is a season of waiting.
I hate waiting. Patience is a virtue that I don't possess...even though God is constantly trying to teach it to me. Patience and I aren't friends or even acquaintances and I've never been shy about that. I've even written a few blogs about my complete lack of patience, and not just in certain matters (i.e. Mr. Wonderful to show up, my dream job to fall in my lap, etc.). I love Advent, but I hate waiting in general. I don't like waiting in line for confession, I don't like sitting in traffic, I don't like waiting in lines in stores when I go shopping, I don't like waiting for my paycheck to hit the bank...I just don't like it, which is why it was so easy to come up with the list of things I'm waiting for.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the wanting of things or events isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it comes from a deeper hunger: we want to be happy. We want to be joyful people, so we want things or events to occur in the hopes that we will be happier, more joyful people because of them. But how do we become truly happy, joyful people? We find God. We are, ultimately, looking for, waiting for God...we are waiting for Heaven. The other stuff, the material items, the events are just 'things' along the way to what we are all, deep down, waiting for: eternal bliss.
Welcome to Advent, folks - it is a season of waiting. It is a season of joyful anticipation of the coming of Christ, not so much at Christmas as a baby, not so much for midnight Mass (or the nightmarish parking lot after Mass), not even for the beautiful Christmas presents. It is a joyful anticipation of the second coming of Christ, whether He comes in our life time or whether we pass away and meet Him at those pearly gates. This Advent, let us be joyful in our waiting, joyful in our anticipation and hoping for the coming of Christ. May we also recognize that Christ doesn't just come at Christmas or at the second coming...He comes every day. May our eyes be open to see Him.
"Light that never fades, dispel the mists about us, awaken our faith from sleep" - Liturgy of the Hours, Morning Prayer, Monday, Week One of Advent
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
give Thanks.
Its not a song and its not an excuse, neither felt quite right in light of the coming holiday. Well, I suppose there is a hymn named "Give Thanks" and it is ridiculously catchy (in the sense that it gets stuck in your head and never leaves). However, I thought it would be fitting to actually give thanks this week. So often we get bogged down with the things we don't have, with the things we want, with complaints about this thing or that thing that we forget to be thankful for what we actually have. As G.K. Chesterton said, “There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more, the other is to desire less.” This week as we head into Thanksgiving and making the big meals and spending time with family (whether we want to or not, haha!), let us be thankful for what we have and hopefully learn to desire less. Let us rejoice for the blessings that God has already showered us with. Not sure what to be thankful for? I'll share with you a few of the many things I've been thinking about lately, things that I'm truly thankful for and hopefully it will inspire you to praise the God who gives us all good things.
God. As if it needs to be said, I couldn't be more thankful (well, I probably could) for the blessing of knowing and loving God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. My life wouldn't be the same without them.
Mary. She is the perfect mother (don't get me wrong, my earthly mother is a wonderful and inspiring woman as well), the one who is constantly talking to her Son on my behalf. She is there for me and she guides my life. She is the quintessential woman, the woman I am always striving to be like.
Faith. The first two would mean nothing without this gift. The ability, the grace to believe even when the world shouts that such beliefs are nothing more than foolishness is a gift more wonderous than words.
Forgiveness. Yes, confession is a lovely and beautiful thing and I am eternally grateful for a Sacrament that allows me to hear that I am truly forgiven for my sins. But I'm also grateful for the forgiveness that I can offer to others and that they can offer to me for the times I've been less than perfect. Forgiveness is a grace without end.
A loving family. Even when they drive me crazy I'm thankful for them because they always support me and love me. No matter what.
Love. It comes in so many forms, the love I have for God, the love I have for my family, for my friends and for the extra special people God has blessed me with...I'm eternally grateful to be able to love freely and be loved. It warms my heart.
Music. Especially lately I've been moved by so many artists and songs that I can't help but be thankful for music, for the ways that it speaks to my heart and allows me to express emotions that I often can't find words for. Music calms my soul.
Prayers. I'm thankful that I can pray to God and for the saints' intercession - their gifts and signs to me over the years have led me to where I am today and I can honestly say that I've never been happier than I am on this Thanksgiving. I'm thankful that I can pray for others and that others pray for me...its a mysterious thing, prayer is, and I don't think we'll ever understand its power until we get to Heaven, but it is a wonder to see prayers working for the good of others, it keeps us humble.
I could go on...but I think I'll let Scripture finish out the story of our thankfulness:
"Give thanks to the LORD, invoke his name;
God. As if it needs to be said, I couldn't be more thankful (well, I probably could) for the blessing of knowing and loving God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. My life wouldn't be the same without them.
Mary. She is the perfect mother (don't get me wrong, my earthly mother is a wonderful and inspiring woman as well), the one who is constantly talking to her Son on my behalf. She is there for me and she guides my life. She is the quintessential woman, the woman I am always striving to be like.
Faith. The first two would mean nothing without this gift. The ability, the grace to believe even when the world shouts that such beliefs are nothing more than foolishness is a gift more wonderous than words.
Forgiveness. Yes, confession is a lovely and beautiful thing and I am eternally grateful for a Sacrament that allows me to hear that I am truly forgiven for my sins. But I'm also grateful for the forgiveness that I can offer to others and that they can offer to me for the times I've been less than perfect. Forgiveness is a grace without end.
A loving family. Even when they drive me crazy I'm thankful for them because they always support me and love me. No matter what.
Love. It comes in so many forms, the love I have for God, the love I have for my family, for my friends and for the extra special people God has blessed me with...I'm eternally grateful to be able to love freely and be loved. It warms my heart.
Music. Especially lately I've been moved by so many artists and songs that I can't help but be thankful for music, for the ways that it speaks to my heart and allows me to express emotions that I often can't find words for. Music calms my soul.
Prayers. I'm thankful that I can pray to God and for the saints' intercession - their gifts and signs to me over the years have led me to where I am today and I can honestly say that I've never been happier than I am on this Thanksgiving. I'm thankful that I can pray for others and that others pray for me...its a mysterious thing, prayer is, and I don't think we'll ever understand its power until we get to Heaven, but it is a wonder to see prayers working for the good of others, it keeps us humble.
I could go on...but I think I'll let Scripture finish out the story of our thankfulness:
"Give thanks to the LORD, invoke his name;
make known among the peoples his deeds" - 1 Chronicles 16:8
"Sing praise to the LORD, you faithful;
give thanks to his holy memory." - Psalm 30:5
"Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
his courts with praise.
Give thanks to him, bless his name" - Psalm 100:4
"Then he took a cup, gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you..." - Matthew 26:27
"But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" - 1 Corinthians 15:57
"Everything indeed is for you, so that the grace bestowed in abundance on more and more people may cause the thanksgiving to overflow for the glory of God" - 2 Corinthians 4:15
Monday, November 21, 2011
covenant Heart.
So...I have this thing for rings. I love them, and I probably own more than I could ever wear at one time, and yet I keep buying them. Ever single time I go to Kohls or any Christian/Catholic store, I look at their rings and the different meanings they have and I have to refrain from buying yet another ring for my never ending collection. And yet...I only normally wear one or two. The first is a purity ring I got at Pure by Choice when I was in high school, its on my pinky finger and it has been for many years now. It is simple with a cross and the "Jesus" fish on it. The other ring I've also had for a number of years, though not as long, and I wear it off and on. I've had it resized a few times and yet it doesn't always fit, so I don't always wear it. Even though its a little big on me right now (thank you, cold weather!), I can't stop wearing it. After not wearing it for a few months I pulled it out the other day and fell in love with it all over again. I've always loved the symbolism behind it, but this week I found even more beauty in it.
It is called "Covenant Heart", which I love. It is supposed to represent your heart, your husband's heart and God's heart, all joined together by the cross. I literally stared at this for months before putting it on my Christmas list a few years ago, and it was (and is) by far my favorite present from that year. However, recently I was gazing at it and I realized that the heart that is mine (I think its the one on the left...I'm a lefty, so I always favor the left) and the heart that is my huband's (on the right) don't actually touch. The only thing that unites our hearts is God's heart...and the cross. We are only (I can't emphasize that enough) united by God. We, outside of the covenent of marriage, don't fully unite our hearts. (Though its not for lack of trying...) Yes, sure, we grow together, we unite ourselves in prayer, but our hearts aren't fully united unless God is in the middle of them, in a deep, abiding, covenantal love, not somewhere around our hearts, not in some vague, obscure way, but in the very middle of our heart and our relationship.
But it's not just about God's heart..its about the cross. If we forget that then we forget the reason we are here, the reason we are freed from sin, the reason we can even stand before God at all. God's heart hung on the cross, it bled on the cross for love of us - the same kind of agape, unconditional love we are called to show one another. The cross reminds us of the suffering God endured for us, it invites us to unite our sufferings to His. Sometimes in our singleness we suffer (or at least we feel like we do) because we don't know where Mr. Wonderful or Mr. Soulmate is (or Mrs. Soulmate for that matter). Sometimes in relationships we suffer because we fight or we don't communicate perfectly (who does, except the Trinity?) or we can't be together as much as we like. No matter what state we are in, we suffer and the cross reminds us to offer up our sufferings, to unite them with the sufferings of Christ - I have no doubt it is something that will continue even in marriage.
It certainly isn't always easy, but let your heart be united to God's. Only if you unite your heart to God's will it ever be allowed to be united with another. Like the saying goes, "your heart should be so buried in God that any potential mate has to go through His heart to see yours." But be careful, don't simply approach God's heart in hopes of finding your soulmate, He is a jealous God after all and He wants your heart for His own. As C.S. Lewis once wrote, "if you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a mean, you're not really approaching Him at all." Let your love for Him be sincere and I can promise you (as can Scripture over and over and over...) that He will shower you with His abundant love. Let your heart be a covenant heart - one intimately united to His always.
But it's not just about God's heart..its about the cross. If we forget that then we forget the reason we are here, the reason we are freed from sin, the reason we can even stand before God at all. God's heart hung on the cross, it bled on the cross for love of us - the same kind of agape, unconditional love we are called to show one another. The cross reminds us of the suffering God endured for us, it invites us to unite our sufferings to His. Sometimes in our singleness we suffer (or at least we feel like we do) because we don't know where Mr. Wonderful or Mr. Soulmate is (or Mrs. Soulmate for that matter). Sometimes in relationships we suffer because we fight or we don't communicate perfectly (who does, except the Trinity?) or we can't be together as much as we like. No matter what state we are in, we suffer and the cross reminds us to offer up our sufferings, to unite them with the sufferings of Christ - I have no doubt it is something that will continue even in marriage.
It certainly isn't always easy, but let your heart be united to God's. Only if you unite your heart to God's will it ever be allowed to be united with another. Like the saying goes, "your heart should be so buried in God that any potential mate has to go through His heart to see yours." But be careful, don't simply approach God's heart in hopes of finding your soulmate, He is a jealous God after all and He wants your heart for His own. As C.S. Lewis once wrote, "if you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a mean, you're not really approaching Him at all." Let your love for Him be sincere and I can promise you (as can Scripture over and over and over...) that He will shower you with His abundant love. Let your heart be a covenant heart - one intimately united to His always.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
fall Apart.
Back to songs...at least for this week. This week has already been one of the most emotionally draining weeks that I've had in a while, and its only Wednesday. Mr. Irish assures me that it will get better from here, and I can only hope that is true. I thought a lot about the excuse I would blog about today (and believe me, the list is no where near done), but when it came down to it I had to share this song. I got in the car this morning to drive to work and as I fought back tears for about the zillionth time (and I do mean that, everything seems to set me off lately, even Wal-Mart commericals...) this song came on. But before I tell you the song (unless you've figured it out from the blog title/read below) I should probably tell you a little bit about where I've been lately (spiritually, I really haven't left my normal 40 mile radius).
I've been filled with fear. Fear about just about everything, but I knew deep down there must be a reason for this fear, something deep within that needed attention. Otherwise, why the heck would I be crying all the time over the randomest things? (If you know me at all, you know that I don't usually like crying in public, I only cry around/in front of people I trust...weddings don't count.) And yet...I was afraid to discover what this thing inside of me might be. Yes, sure, its been slowly taking over my heart, but that doesn't mean I wanted to discover the source. Discovering the source of that fear would probably mean some huge healing was needed and in order to heal, things usually hurt again before they can get better - not something I was or am looking forward to. Oh, don't get me wrong, the healing part sounds great, but the pain that is almost always required to get to that healing...yea, I'll pass. Surgery can solve problems, but the surgeon must first cut before he can heal...the same is true of God. I'm not saying He cuts us, but sometimes He digs up old wounds and reminds us that they are still there and though they have scabbed over, there is more healing to be done. Last night I had a break-through...and if I know anything about my relationship with God, He's probably just scratching the surface, but we have to start somewhere. And yes, the break-through involved quite a bit more tears...more than I've cried in a while. God, in His infinite insanity (I love Him, but sometimes I still think He is crazy), took me back over some hurts that have been buried in my heart for years. And though it hurt to go back and remember the old wounds, as I cried, I began to feel God holding my heart and holding me as I sobbed through the pain. He rocked me to sleep and even though that fear is still hanging around today, it is slowly but surely getting better. Then this song came on...it speaks for itself.
Song: Fall Apart
Artist: Josh Wilson
Lyrics:
Why in the world did I think I could
Only get to know You when my life was good
When everything just falls in place
The easiest thing is to give You praise
Now it all seems upside down
(Chorus)
'Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart
Blessed are the ones who understand
We got nothing to bring but empty hands
Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Our heartbreak brings us back to You
And it all seems upside down
Chorus
I don't know how long this will last
I'm praying for the pain to pass
But maybe this is the best thing
That has ever happened to me
God, my whole world is caving in,
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need?
God, I want to know you more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when,
You will find me when I fall apart.
I know I said the lyrics speak for themselves, and they do...but there is more to be said. Sometimes our whole world caves in...and yet, we try to pretend everything is fine. We try to pretend that there isn't some dark cloud slowly overtaking our hearts, and in this pretending we hope that eventually our act will be come reality. We'd rather pretend and ignore the pain than listen to the tender nudgings of God that something is wrong...we want perfection, we were, after all, made for it, made in the image of perfection. We don't like admitting something is wrong, or that something hurts...we don't like people fussing over us. But sometimes, as much as we don't want to, we have to fall apart. We have to lose ourselves completely in order to find ourselves in God (Matthew 10:39 much?). Though we wish it weren't so, sometimes we take the wrong path to its rock bottom end before we trust that the other path was better. Sometimes we have to fall apart, tear-stained shirts, snot running down our noses, make-up running, red, puffy eyes and all to trust that even when we are at our worst, even when we can't put words to the pain, God isn't going to leave us (the same is true of your significant other). We long to be reminded that He will find us when we fall apart. Sometimes we need to be reminded that even when we fall apart, when we can't find words to describe the pain, when we just can't stop crying, even then we are still worthy of love...worthy of Agape.
I've been filled with fear. Fear about just about everything, but I knew deep down there must be a reason for this fear, something deep within that needed attention. Otherwise, why the heck would I be crying all the time over the randomest things? (If you know me at all, you know that I don't usually like crying in public, I only cry around/in front of people I trust...weddings don't count.) And yet...I was afraid to discover what this thing inside of me might be. Yes, sure, its been slowly taking over my heart, but that doesn't mean I wanted to discover the source. Discovering the source of that fear would probably mean some huge healing was needed and in order to heal, things usually hurt again before they can get better - not something I was or am looking forward to. Oh, don't get me wrong, the healing part sounds great, but the pain that is almost always required to get to that healing...yea, I'll pass. Surgery can solve problems, but the surgeon must first cut before he can heal...the same is true of God. I'm not saying He cuts us, but sometimes He digs up old wounds and reminds us that they are still there and though they have scabbed over, there is more healing to be done. Last night I had a break-through...and if I know anything about my relationship with God, He's probably just scratching the surface, but we have to start somewhere. And yes, the break-through involved quite a bit more tears...more than I've cried in a while. God, in His infinite insanity (I love Him, but sometimes I still think He is crazy), took me back over some hurts that have been buried in my heart for years. And though it hurt to go back and remember the old wounds, as I cried, I began to feel God holding my heart and holding me as I sobbed through the pain. He rocked me to sleep and even though that fear is still hanging around today, it is slowly but surely getting better. Then this song came on...it speaks for itself.
Song: Fall Apart
Artist: Josh Wilson
Lyrics:
Why in the world did I think I could
Only get to know You when my life was good
When everything just falls in place
The easiest thing is to give You praise
Now it all seems upside down
(Chorus)
'Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart
Blessed are the ones who understand
We got nothing to bring but empty hands
Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Our heartbreak brings us back to You
And it all seems upside down
Chorus
I don't know how long this will last
I'm praying for the pain to pass
But maybe this is the best thing
That has ever happened to me
God, my whole world is caving in,
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need?
God, I want to know you more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when,
You will find me when I fall apart.
I know I said the lyrics speak for themselves, and they do...but there is more to be said. Sometimes our whole world caves in...and yet, we try to pretend everything is fine. We try to pretend that there isn't some dark cloud slowly overtaking our hearts, and in this pretending we hope that eventually our act will be come reality. We'd rather pretend and ignore the pain than listen to the tender nudgings of God that something is wrong...we want perfection, we were, after all, made for it, made in the image of perfection. We don't like admitting something is wrong, or that something hurts...we don't like people fussing over us. But sometimes, as much as we don't want to, we have to fall apart. We have to lose ourselves completely in order to find ourselves in God (Matthew 10:39 much?). Though we wish it weren't so, sometimes we take the wrong path to its rock bottom end before we trust that the other path was better. Sometimes we have to fall apart, tear-stained shirts, snot running down our noses, make-up running, red, puffy eyes and all to trust that even when we are at our worst, even when we can't put words to the pain, God isn't going to leave us (the same is true of your significant other). We long to be reminded that He will find us when we fall apart. Sometimes we need to be reminded that even when we fall apart, when we can't find words to describe the pain, when we just can't stop crying, even then we are still worthy of love...worthy of Agape.
Monday, November 14, 2011
love is a Dance.
Every now and then there is a blog that comes to mind and I just know that Satan doesn't want it to be written. I woke up this morning with this horrible feeling in my heart and the more I prayed about this blog the more that feeling increased in its awfulness. So, here is to kicking Satan in the teeth because I'm going to write it anyway!
Ever since I was a little girl I always imagined what falling in love would be like. Over time that image, that feeling has changed. However, it really hasn't changed much in the last 8 years or so. Once I began to truly make the Faith personal, God has written a beautiful image of what falling in love is like on my heart. It isn't an image I usually share with anyone, it is always something that has been mine and mine alone. But lately God has been reminding me of it a lot and I've been praying about sharing it here and I can certainly tell you that the spiritual warfare began - a sure-fire way of knowing that Satan would rather I just keep this story, this image, to myself. Well, Satan...go back to hell.
I've always loved dancing in one form or another, so its no surprise that I took ballroom dancing for 3 semesters in college. I love the really passionate dances like the cha-cha and the tango, they just look really fierce. But I've always had a special place in my heart for the slower dances, especially the waltz. Knowing that God knows me as He does then, it is no wonder that He would use my love of dance to reveal to me what falling in love would be like. I've always imagined myself dancing alone, floating around a huge ballroom, blissfully content to simply float around dancing to a tune that God played, a tune that filled this wonderous ballroom. I, in true girly fashion, am in a gorgeous ballgown that flows with me as I dance about the room. I don't really notice that I am dancing alone because my focus is above me, on God. I'm not looking at my feet or in front of me, nor am I looking around the room wondering where my dance partner is, rather, my eyes are fixed on Heaven (and no, my neck doesn't hurt from constantly looking upward). I dance about until the man that God has made for me enters the ballroom. It is a quiet entrance that I don't even hear because I've become completely focused on the song that God is playing. It is a song that I believe God has written just for me...and in time I come to see that this song is written for my soulmate and I - it is a song that only we know, a song that we dance to more gracefully than if either one of us attempted to dance it with anyone else. Slowly, the man comes up and joins me - he doesn't change the dance completely, but he dances along with me as he gently takes the lead. But the truly beautiful thing is that my focus, in fact, our focus is still on God. The person who is made for me, and I for him isn't a terrible dancer. Indeed, he knows the dance that I am dancing and his soul joins with mine as we dance in unison, still looking up at God. This song, we come to understand, was written just for us. This song is the musical tale of our love story, and we alone know the dance. We don't have to look at our feet because God has written this dance of love on our hearts; after all, He did make us for one another.
If you've ever seen a waltz, you know that it simply flows and is, in my opinion, one of the most majestic dances. It draws you in, and even when I'm simply watching a waltz, my heart is drawn in and is dancing along in a beautiful, flowing and peaceful dance. It calms the soul.
That video hardly does the dance of love justice. The way it flows in my head and in my heart can hardly be described with words, it is something you feel in the depths of your soul.
However, sometimes guys who weren't made for you try to cut in on your dance with God. If you pay attention (and trust me, that is a big "if") you'll be quicker to pick up on these fakes. You'll find yourself tripping about a lot. The man that God made for you will know (by the grace of God) your heart, the rhythm of your heart, the beat, the flow of your heart and will dance along with you, will help you grow into a better dancer. If it is a phony, he won't truly know your heart so he'll try to fake it and dance along, but you'll find yourself tripping over each other and losing the beat, and ultimately your focus will be more on the dance and your own two feet and less on God.
Even in the times that I have discerned religious life, this metaphor for love has held true in my heart. If, in fact, I was called to religious life, then Jesus would have been the one to join my dance. In fact, Jesus is the perfect dance partner and in some cases in my single-ness I imagined myself dancing with Him...which would mean that whoever I was called to marry was taking me away from Jesus...so that image isn't perfect. But if you are called to religious life, Jesus continues in that dance with you. When we begin to falter and trip we hopefully will come to realize that we aren't focused on what we should be: God. The same is true when we are dancing with the one God created for us, when we begin to trip and step on each others' toes we come to see that we have lost our focus.
So how can you tell the difference between a phony and a loss of focus? Because even when our soulmate enters the dance we are bound to have a few missteps. We are human, remember? Trust your heart. When you dance with a phony I can promise you that your heart won't sing quite as beautifully and even if your focus remains on God, the steps to the dance won't feel as natural. When dancing with your soulmate the dance will flow naturally from your souls, it will have a grace to it that is only possible if you are truly soulmates. Also, it is important to note that when dancing, the male always leads. A good, flowing, graceful and beautiful dance always has a strong male lead - the same is true in relationships. If the male isn't leading the dance, it ends up looking silly and awkward, so if your dance looks or feels silly or awkward, you probably aren't dancing with your soulmate. Let him lead (as God has lead you in this dance since the day you were born) and the dance, if it is from God, will be transformed to one of beauty and grace. Your feet will flow together, your dress in all its radiance will flow and twirl about and the man will be one of strength and leadership - it is a dance you'll want to dance for the rest of your life.
Dance the dance. Focus on God and let the music flow through your soul and move you to a graceful, elegant dance of love.
Lord, write Your love deeply on our hearts. Teach us to dance Your dance, help our focus to always be on You. Keep our feet from stumbling and help us to save our dance steps for the one that You have made us for. Allow our hearts to sing, to be filled with joy when You send us our dance partner, our soulmate. AMEN.
Ever since I was a little girl I always imagined what falling in love would be like. Over time that image, that feeling has changed. However, it really hasn't changed much in the last 8 years or so. Once I began to truly make the Faith personal, God has written a beautiful image of what falling in love is like on my heart. It isn't an image I usually share with anyone, it is always something that has been mine and mine alone. But lately God has been reminding me of it a lot and I've been praying about sharing it here and I can certainly tell you that the spiritual warfare began - a sure-fire way of knowing that Satan would rather I just keep this story, this image, to myself. Well, Satan...go back to hell.
I've always loved dancing in one form or another, so its no surprise that I took ballroom dancing for 3 semesters in college. I love the really passionate dances like the cha-cha and the tango, they just look really fierce. But I've always had a special place in my heart for the slower dances, especially the waltz. Knowing that God knows me as He does then, it is no wonder that He would use my love of dance to reveal to me what falling in love would be like. I've always imagined myself dancing alone, floating around a huge ballroom, blissfully content to simply float around dancing to a tune that God played, a tune that filled this wonderous ballroom. I, in true girly fashion, am in a gorgeous ballgown that flows with me as I dance about the room. I don't really notice that I am dancing alone because my focus is above me, on God. I'm not looking at my feet or in front of me, nor am I looking around the room wondering where my dance partner is, rather, my eyes are fixed on Heaven (and no, my neck doesn't hurt from constantly looking upward). I dance about until the man that God has made for me enters the ballroom. It is a quiet entrance that I don't even hear because I've become completely focused on the song that God is playing. It is a song that I believe God has written just for me...and in time I come to see that this song is written for my soulmate and I - it is a song that only we know, a song that we dance to more gracefully than if either one of us attempted to dance it with anyone else. Slowly, the man comes up and joins me - he doesn't change the dance completely, but he dances along with me as he gently takes the lead. But the truly beautiful thing is that my focus, in fact, our focus is still on God. The person who is made for me, and I for him isn't a terrible dancer. Indeed, he knows the dance that I am dancing and his soul joins with mine as we dance in unison, still looking up at God. This song, we come to understand, was written just for us. This song is the musical tale of our love story, and we alone know the dance. We don't have to look at our feet because God has written this dance of love on our hearts; after all, He did make us for one another.
If you've ever seen a waltz, you know that it simply flows and is, in my opinion, one of the most majestic dances. It draws you in, and even when I'm simply watching a waltz, my heart is drawn in and is dancing along in a beautiful, flowing and peaceful dance. It calms the soul.
That video hardly does the dance of love justice. The way it flows in my head and in my heart can hardly be described with words, it is something you feel in the depths of your soul.
However, sometimes guys who weren't made for you try to cut in on your dance with God. If you pay attention (and trust me, that is a big "if") you'll be quicker to pick up on these fakes. You'll find yourself tripping about a lot. The man that God made for you will know (by the grace of God) your heart, the rhythm of your heart, the beat, the flow of your heart and will dance along with you, will help you grow into a better dancer. If it is a phony, he won't truly know your heart so he'll try to fake it and dance along, but you'll find yourself tripping over each other and losing the beat, and ultimately your focus will be more on the dance and your own two feet and less on God.
Even in the times that I have discerned religious life, this metaphor for love has held true in my heart. If, in fact, I was called to religious life, then Jesus would have been the one to join my dance. In fact, Jesus is the perfect dance partner and in some cases in my single-ness I imagined myself dancing with Him...which would mean that whoever I was called to marry was taking me away from Jesus...so that image isn't perfect. But if you are called to religious life, Jesus continues in that dance with you. When we begin to falter and trip we hopefully will come to realize that we aren't focused on what we should be: God. The same is true when we are dancing with the one God created for us, when we begin to trip and step on each others' toes we come to see that we have lost our focus.
So how can you tell the difference between a phony and a loss of focus? Because even when our soulmate enters the dance we are bound to have a few missteps. We are human, remember? Trust your heart. When you dance with a phony I can promise you that your heart won't sing quite as beautifully and even if your focus remains on God, the steps to the dance won't feel as natural. When dancing with your soulmate the dance will flow naturally from your souls, it will have a grace to it that is only possible if you are truly soulmates. Also, it is important to note that when dancing, the male always leads. A good, flowing, graceful and beautiful dance always has a strong male lead - the same is true in relationships. If the male isn't leading the dance, it ends up looking silly and awkward, so if your dance looks or feels silly or awkward, you probably aren't dancing with your soulmate. Let him lead (as God has lead you in this dance since the day you were born) and the dance, if it is from God, will be transformed to one of beauty and grace. Your feet will flow together, your dress in all its radiance will flow and twirl about and the man will be one of strength and leadership - it is a dance you'll want to dance for the rest of your life.
Dance the dance. Focus on God and let the music flow through your soul and move you to a graceful, elegant dance of love.
Lord, write Your love deeply on our hearts. Teach us to dance Your dance, help our focus to always be on You. Keep our feet from stumbling and help us to save our dance steps for the one that You have made us for. Allow our hearts to sing, to be filled with joy when You send us our dance partner, our soulmate. AMEN.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
just not in Love.
Break-up excuse: I love you, I'm just not in love with you.
Why it sucks in human relationships: I could write a book on this one. It sucks because it is mysterious in many ways - what, after all, is the difference between "love" and "in love" - or is there even a difference? This line is crap, complete and utter crap. You love football, you love a dog, but you aren't in love with football or a dog (if you are you have bigger problems than I can tackle in this blog). In some ways I could see a difference between "love" and "in love" but at the end of the day it becomes a semantics battle that really isn't worth any mental effort. Someone once told me this excuse boils down to this: "I'm not attracted to you anymore. Sure, maybe I once was, but I'm not anymore and I haven't been for a while. And I don't really feel like trying to get that attraction back or reignite the flame that once burned between us." Doesn't that just irritate you? Fine, don't try, just throw the relationship away.
Why it sucks when using it with God: Instead of it boiling down to attraction like it does between humans, it boils down to something even more painful with God, "You're a cool guy and all, but I don't really feel like giving You my whole life and submitting to a loving relationship with You. I don't want to be that open with You." It kind of goes with this saying I love, "it is one thing to believe in God, it is an entirely different notion to believe God." It is one thing to love someone or to love God, but it is an entirely different notion to be in love with someone or to be in love with God - it takes far more heart, trust, faith and vulnerability to truly be in love with someone and even more so to be in love with God.
Why this excuse doesn't work on God: Because its only the beginning of a relationship with God. We start by loving Him, by being enamored by Him in all of His awesomeness, His unfailing love, His mercy. We start there...we, God willing, don't finish there. We are called to continue on this journey of love and truly fall in love with Him, submitting ourselves to loving Him completely and allowing Him to fill us.
How to move on: Continue on the journey. That doesn't mean you won't regress from time to time, we all do. But the beauty is that this life is a journey, a love story that God has been writing since before...time. A love story that isn't complete with a simple admiration for God...it is completed when we meet Him, but in order to meet Him in Heaven we are invited to fall deeply, madly, passionately in love with Him, to journey with Him to a love far deeper than we could ever imagine on our own.
Loving Jesus, help us move from a simplistic love of You to a deep, abiding love. Help us each day to fall even more in love with You, and so freely and wholly submit ourselves to Your love and all that You are and all that You desire of us. AMEN.
Why it sucks in human relationships: I could write a book on this one. It sucks because it is mysterious in many ways - what, after all, is the difference between "love" and "in love" - or is there even a difference? This line is crap, complete and utter crap. You love football, you love a dog, but you aren't in love with football or a dog (if you are you have bigger problems than I can tackle in this blog). In some ways I could see a difference between "love" and "in love" but at the end of the day it becomes a semantics battle that really isn't worth any mental effort. Someone once told me this excuse boils down to this: "I'm not attracted to you anymore. Sure, maybe I once was, but I'm not anymore and I haven't been for a while. And I don't really feel like trying to get that attraction back or reignite the flame that once burned between us." Doesn't that just irritate you? Fine, don't try, just throw the relationship away.
Why it sucks when using it with God: Instead of it boiling down to attraction like it does between humans, it boils down to something even more painful with God, "You're a cool guy and all, but I don't really feel like giving You my whole life and submitting to a loving relationship with You. I don't want to be that open with You." It kind of goes with this saying I love, "it is one thing to believe in God, it is an entirely different notion to believe God." It is one thing to love someone or to love God, but it is an entirely different notion to be in love with someone or to be in love with God - it takes far more heart, trust, faith and vulnerability to truly be in love with someone and even more so to be in love with God.
Why this excuse doesn't work on God: Because its only the beginning of a relationship with God. We start by loving Him, by being enamored by Him in all of His awesomeness, His unfailing love, His mercy. We start there...we, God willing, don't finish there. We are called to continue on this journey of love and truly fall in love with Him, submitting ourselves to loving Him completely and allowing Him to fill us.
How to move on: Continue on the journey. That doesn't mean you won't regress from time to time, we all do. But the beauty is that this life is a journey, a love story that God has been writing since before...time. A love story that isn't complete with a simple admiration for God...it is completed when we meet Him, but in order to meet Him in Heaven we are invited to fall deeply, madly, passionately in love with Him, to journey with Him to a love far deeper than we could ever imagine on our own.
Loving Jesus, help us move from a simplistic love of You to a deep, abiding love. Help us each day to fall even more in love with You, and so freely and wholly submit ourselves to Your love and all that You are and all that You desire of us. AMEN.
Monday, November 7, 2011
lessons Learned.
Seriously?! Are you kidding me?! Both are phrases I used a lot last week as I got sucked into the drama-pit better known as the impending Kardashian divorce. At first I was annoyed; more meaningless news about Kim Kardashian, more tabloid fodder. I promised myself I wouldn't read anymore about it...and then I just couldn't stop reading every "news" article about it - why she filed for divorce, how she failed to tell her husband and he found out through TMZ, how she e-mailed her family before filing for divorce, how torn up she is about the whole thing, how much money she made on the wedding, blah, blah, blah. After all, just about anybody has to admit that 72 days of marriage is a little pathetic, laughable even, unless one of the parties dies, especially given that the wedding cost $10 million dollars (I read that is approximately $138,888 for each DAY of their marriage). As I continued to read countless articles I asked myself, what can we learn from this? Actually, a lot.
1. Communicate.
Goodness gracious, you would think this would be OBVIOUS to most (it not ALL) people by now, but clearly its not. Also, please understand that when I say communicate I mean with your significant other, not with TV cameras, newspapers, magazines, etc., if you are going to marry that person then you need to talk to THAT person. Talk about where you are going to live when you are married, how many kids you want and when, whether or not you will take his last name, etc. Talk to each other, a lot. All of the time. Frequently. About everything. Trust me, you'll find that you can hardly make it through a TV show without wanting to talk to your significant other because even issues raised in comical TV shows make you think - thoughts you should be sharing with your future spouse.
2. Trust your heart.
Apparently Kim has said that she's been struggling with her marriage for the last two months (so, less than 2 weeks into the whole shindig) and that she nearly called off the wedding. Don't you think her heart, perhaps even her conscience was trying to tell her something? God, in His infinite goodness, writes Truth on our hearts, sometimes we listen and sometimes we don't. In my experience, life is much happier when I listen to that little voice in my head/heart. If you have serious doubts or concerns it comes down to two options: talk about them with your significant other or leave...have the decency to walk away before you break their heart...or the bank.
3. Mature.
I'm not going to pretend to know Kim or her motives, but if you can't even be mature enough to tell your husband you are divorcing him, you probably aren't mature enough to get married in the first place [I completely acknowledge that there are situations, i.e. abuse, in which telling your significant other of divorce before-the-fact would be unnecessary and may even create more troubles]. There is a lot to be said for two mature adults getting married. It takes a lot of open communication (and sometimes some tough skin) to be in a committed relationship and to stick around when the going gets tough. Marriage ain't for the weak and immature!
4. Fight.
Figure out how to work out your differences before you get into a marriage. That doesn't mean you won't ever fight once you get married, but at least you'll have a framework for communicating and working out your problems. Also, figure out what's worth fighting for and what isn't. i.e. what kind of dog you will get vs. where you will live once you're married. Some things are important and some things are details that will get worked out in time. Pick your battles.
5. Don't break the bank on some fancy wedding.
Sure, most girls grew up dreaming of the fairytale wedding complete with a ballroom gown, a huge diamond ring, flowers everywhere and a band to dance the night away to. Most people I know who work in the marriage industry/ministry will tell you that the couples that get married and their wedding focuses more on the love and less on the details are the couples that, down the road, are happier and actually stick together. Where are your priorities?
A 72-day marriage is sad. A website that calculates how many "Kardashians" you've been together for is...funny and sad. Not learning from others' mistakes is an even bigger tragedy. Just like our parents don't want us to make the same mistakes they made, let's try not to repeat the mistakes of others.
Lord, open our eyes to learn from the mistakes of others. Grant us the grace to learn and grow through our own mistakes, but also through the mistakes of others. By this continual learning may we be ever-closer to Your perfect heart. AMEN.
1. Communicate.
Goodness gracious, you would think this would be OBVIOUS to most (it not ALL) people by now, but clearly its not. Also, please understand that when I say communicate I mean with your significant other, not with TV cameras, newspapers, magazines, etc., if you are going to marry that person then you need to talk to THAT person. Talk about where you are going to live when you are married, how many kids you want and when, whether or not you will take his last name, etc. Talk to each other, a lot. All of the time. Frequently. About everything. Trust me, you'll find that you can hardly make it through a TV show without wanting to talk to your significant other because even issues raised in comical TV shows make you think - thoughts you should be sharing with your future spouse.
2. Trust your heart.
Apparently Kim has said that she's been struggling with her marriage for the last two months (so, less than 2 weeks into the whole shindig) and that she nearly called off the wedding. Don't you think her heart, perhaps even her conscience was trying to tell her something? God, in His infinite goodness, writes Truth on our hearts, sometimes we listen and sometimes we don't. In my experience, life is much happier when I listen to that little voice in my head/heart. If you have serious doubts or concerns it comes down to two options: talk about them with your significant other or leave...have the decency to walk away before you break their heart...or the bank.
3. Mature.
I'm not going to pretend to know Kim or her motives, but if you can't even be mature enough to tell your husband you are divorcing him, you probably aren't mature enough to get married in the first place [I completely acknowledge that there are situations, i.e. abuse, in which telling your significant other of divorce before-the-fact would be unnecessary and may even create more troubles]. There is a lot to be said for two mature adults getting married. It takes a lot of open communication (and sometimes some tough skin) to be in a committed relationship and to stick around when the going gets tough. Marriage ain't for the weak and immature!
4. Fight.
Figure out how to work out your differences before you get into a marriage. That doesn't mean you won't ever fight once you get married, but at least you'll have a framework for communicating and working out your problems. Also, figure out what's worth fighting for and what isn't. i.e. what kind of dog you will get vs. where you will live once you're married. Some things are important and some things are details that will get worked out in time. Pick your battles.
5. Don't break the bank on some fancy wedding.
Sure, most girls grew up dreaming of the fairytale wedding complete with a ballroom gown, a huge diamond ring, flowers everywhere and a band to dance the night away to. Most people I know who work in the marriage industry/ministry will tell you that the couples that get married and their wedding focuses more on the love and less on the details are the couples that, down the road, are happier and actually stick together. Where are your priorities?
A 72-day marriage is sad. A website that calculates how many "Kardashians" you've been together for is...funny and sad. Not learning from others' mistakes is an even bigger tragedy. Just like our parents don't want us to make the same mistakes they made, let's try not to repeat the mistakes of others.
Lord, open our eyes to learn from the mistakes of others. Grant us the grace to learn and grow through our own mistakes, but also through the mistakes of others. By this continual learning may we be ever-closer to Your perfect heart. AMEN.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
the utter Silence.
Break-up excuse: ......(silence).....
Why it sucks in human relationships: Because its not even a real excuse, its a lack of excuse. It lacks courage and basic communication. It lacks even the most basic respect for other human beings. When one person simply stops speaking to the other it says that the other person isn't even worth the common courtesy of an explanation or an actual break up, or even a sense of closure. The person who isn't being talked to is often left dazed and confused because more often than not they have no real idea why the other person stopped speaking to them in the first place. Perhaps you are reading this thinking that the person who stopped speaking just wasn't ready to talk yet. That is another excuse in and of itself, similar to last week's blog. Life is short, do you really want to waste time and not be honest with someone? If so, then have fun playing with people's hearts as if they are your toys. The silent treatment didn't really work when we were kids, so why do we continue to use it in our "adult" relationships? Grow up.
Why it sucks when using it with God: Because we are foolishly thinking that we can ignore God, even though He is all around us. After all, He did create us, and the world we live in, so isn't it a little ridiculous to think that we can ignore Him? Do we really, truly believe that He doesn't know why we are mad at Him or our life situation in general? He knows. Unlike humans, God isn't left dazed and confused when we stop speaking to Him...He knows our hearts better than we do. But just because He isn't mystified by our silence doesn't mean that it's okay to stop speaking to Him. He's got big shoulders, He both can and wants us to let Him have it...He, unlike so many immature human beings, wants open and honest communication with each one of His children.
Why this excuse doesn't work on God: This excuse doesn't work on God because, like I said in last week's blog (just not Yet.), He will wait out our silence. We, as humans, get tired of the silence and however painful it may be, we eventually move on. God doesn't move on, He waits patiently for us to speak to Him again. He continues to whisper His love into our hearts, to shower us with signs of His love for us. He's not fooled by our silent treatment, He is just waiting for us to come around.
How to move on: This one is pretty easy: talk to God. Yell at Him if you must. I can promise you that all your anger, hurt, resentment, even hatred of God won't hurt Him. Jesus took it all on the cross - could you really think of anything more painful than that? He knows your anger, hurt, etc. already, but there is healing in voicing it to Him. It is the same in human relationships - isn't it healing to just let all of your anger out? Yell into a pillow? [I'm not saying you should go yell at everyone who has ever irritated you so that you can find healing.] It is the same with God - let Him have it. Maybe you think He's stopped talking to you...open a Bible. Have you seen the size of that thing? He never shuts up! Read the diaries of the saints and the things He revealed to them, He never shuts up! And I mean that in a loving way, but God never stops telling you, showing you just how much He loves you and how He longs for you to be open with Him. He wants you to be happy, eternally happy! Yes, you are a child of God...that doesn't mean you have to act like a child and give Him the silent treatment...throw a temper tantrum with Him and guess what? You won't get a time-out! Communicate with Him!
Bonus! Random thought/realization: when you find your true love silence won't ever be an issue. The one you love, the one God made for you won't allow you to hide in your silence, nor will you allow them to hide in their silence. By the grace of God you'll want to know each others' thoughts and hearts and souls. Even if one of you tries the silence or the "I'm fine" or "I'm not thinking about anything" excuse, God will allow you to see each others' hearts and persist in a loving way until the truth comes out. Communication...its all God wants from us, and it what we desire from others.
Heavenly Father, grant us the grace to grow up and openly communicate with one another, but most especially with You. Sometimes we think the silence is easier than the honesty, help us to know that even though the truth may hurt, we need it to move on, to grow and mature into open and honest adults. Help us to care enough to talk, allow us to be vulnerable before You, and before Your children. AMEN.
Why it sucks in human relationships: Because its not even a real excuse, its a lack of excuse. It lacks courage and basic communication. It lacks even the most basic respect for other human beings. When one person simply stops speaking to the other it says that the other person isn't even worth the common courtesy of an explanation or an actual break up, or even a sense of closure. The person who isn't being talked to is often left dazed and confused because more often than not they have no real idea why the other person stopped speaking to them in the first place. Perhaps you are reading this thinking that the person who stopped speaking just wasn't ready to talk yet. That is another excuse in and of itself, similar to last week's blog. Life is short, do you really want to waste time and not be honest with someone? If so, then have fun playing with people's hearts as if they are your toys. The silent treatment didn't really work when we were kids, so why do we continue to use it in our "adult" relationships? Grow up.
Why it sucks when using it with God: Because we are foolishly thinking that we can ignore God, even though He is all around us. After all, He did create us, and the world we live in, so isn't it a little ridiculous to think that we can ignore Him? Do we really, truly believe that He doesn't know why we are mad at Him or our life situation in general? He knows. Unlike humans, God isn't left dazed and confused when we stop speaking to Him...He knows our hearts better than we do. But just because He isn't mystified by our silence doesn't mean that it's okay to stop speaking to Him. He's got big shoulders, He both can and wants us to let Him have it...He, unlike so many immature human beings, wants open and honest communication with each one of His children.
Why this excuse doesn't work on God: This excuse doesn't work on God because, like I said in last week's blog (just not Yet.), He will wait out our silence. We, as humans, get tired of the silence and however painful it may be, we eventually move on. God doesn't move on, He waits patiently for us to speak to Him again. He continues to whisper His love into our hearts, to shower us with signs of His love for us. He's not fooled by our silent treatment, He is just waiting for us to come around.
How to move on: This one is pretty easy: talk to God. Yell at Him if you must. I can promise you that all your anger, hurt, resentment, even hatred of God won't hurt Him. Jesus took it all on the cross - could you really think of anything more painful than that? He knows your anger, hurt, etc. already, but there is healing in voicing it to Him. It is the same in human relationships - isn't it healing to just let all of your anger out? Yell into a pillow? [I'm not saying you should go yell at everyone who has ever irritated you so that you can find healing.] It is the same with God - let Him have it. Maybe you think He's stopped talking to you...open a Bible. Have you seen the size of that thing? He never shuts up! Read the diaries of the saints and the things He revealed to them, He never shuts up! And I mean that in a loving way, but God never stops telling you, showing you just how much He loves you and how He longs for you to be open with Him. He wants you to be happy, eternally happy! Yes, you are a child of God...that doesn't mean you have to act like a child and give Him the silent treatment...throw a temper tantrum with Him and guess what? You won't get a time-out! Communicate with Him!
Bonus! Random thought/realization: when you find your true love silence won't ever be an issue. The one you love, the one God made for you won't allow you to hide in your silence, nor will you allow them to hide in their silence. By the grace of God you'll want to know each others' thoughts and hearts and souls. Even if one of you tries the silence or the "I'm fine" or "I'm not thinking about anything" excuse, God will allow you to see each others' hearts and persist in a loving way until the truth comes out. Communication...its all God wants from us, and it what we desire from others.
Heavenly Father, grant us the grace to grow up and openly communicate with one another, but most especially with You. Sometimes we think the silence is easier than the honesty, help us to know that even though the truth may hurt, we need it to move on, to grow and mature into open and honest adults. Help us to care enough to talk, allow us to be vulnerable before You, and before Your children. AMEN.
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