Become.

This blog probably makes no sense.  I had a nice blog planned for today but I am in no mood, nor am I in the right frame of mind to write it...perhaps it will come later this week.  So rather than skipping the blog altogether, or hoping that my mood improves later today, I'm going to default to the genius of Johnny Rzeznik and the Goo Goo Dolls.  So even though it is not Wednesday, I'm featuring a beautiful song that I hope sheds some beauty and light on your day.  [Also, if you could, say a little prayer for me for a special intention - thanks!]

Song: Become
Artist: Goo Goo Dolls
Lyrics:
There's so much more about you that you never let them see
You turn away
But not to me
And I know how they tried to take you
Held you up and meant to break you down
But you can't be

For so long I tried to reach you
I know I'm almost there
I'm close enough for you to see

You've been hiding in the shadows
Have you forgotten how we used to dream
Let me remind you
The light doesn't blind you at all
It just helps you see
Can you see

Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful

And I can't be the stranger
That's been sleeping in your bed just
Turn around and come to me
I feel all the pain inside
And everything you been denied you feel
It's all you feel

You've been hiding in the shadows
Have you forgotten how we used to dream
Let me remind you
The light doesn't blind you at all
It helps you see
Can you see

Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful
Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful

Brush back your hair and look around you
Feeling like the truth has found you here
You're here with me
Let love become the mirror
With no fear where you're from
You have become beautiful

Dear Johnny Rzeznik/Goo Goo Dolls,
I'm sorry I took an extended break from your music and your brilliant words.  Thanks for letting me come back!
Love,
Amanda

As with many songs I listen to (including many, many of the Goo Goo Dolls' songs), I like to imagine God singing this to me...or at least I imagine the lyrics from God's perspective.  He tells me there is so much more to me that I never let the world see.  He tells me I turn away, I hide my face...but I don't turn to Him.  How painfully true that can be.  I hide from the world but I don't always hide myself in His loving arms.  He knows how they (any one or multiple people in the world) tried to take me, held me up, put me on a pedastal, how they did that to break me down, to tear me apart.  The world holds us up, and yet they try to break us down.  "But you can't be..."  God tells us with Him by our sides we can never be fully broken down, He won't allow it.

For SO long He's tried to reach us.  For all of eternity He has tried to reach our hearts, He knows He's almost there (isn't He always?).  He is close enough for us to see.  The only question is - have we opened our eyes to see Him or are we still hiding?

He knows the answer.  He tells us that we have in fact been hiding, we've been hiding in the shadows because we have forgotten how we used to dream with Him, how we used to dream of hope, of love, of happiness, of Heaven.  He whispers to our lost and forgotten hearts, "let me remind you."  He reminds us of our dreams, of the hope that we once had, of the dreams that we can still dream with Him.  "The Light doesn't blind you at all, it just helps you see."  The Light = God, just in case you missed that.  He doesn't blind us, He just helps us see.  He pulls us out of the shadows that we have been hiding in and shines His radiant light on us, He helps us see.  He helps, but He doesn't do all the work, which is why He asks, "can you see?"  Have you opened your eyes yet?

Then the glorious chorus comes crashing in: "yeah, you have become, yeah, you have become beautiful."  I could listen to that chorus on repeat all day and probably still not be sick of it.  Like I said, I often imagine God singing to me, especially through this song.  He tells us that we have become.  Not only have we become something, anything in His eyes (which is a glorious feat in and of itself) but we have become beautiful.  We have become full of beauty.  Sweet, loving Lord, sing that truth over my heart, sing it over and over again until my dry and parched heart believes the wonder of this truth.

...and this is where the God-singing-to-me thing gets a little weird.  Obviously He's not a stranger, and He's really not sleeping in my bed.  However, He does want us to turn around and come to Him.  He waits with us, even at our most intimate and vulnerable moments (i.e. when we are sleeping in our beds) and longs for us to come to Him.  He's not a stranger, though we often mistaken Him for a stranger because we don't fully comprehend His ways, but He is no stranger.  He is our truest and longest friend.  Truly and better than anyone else He feels all the pain inside us - He took it on Himself as He carried the Cross to His death.  He knows our pain.  He, in fact, knows our pain better and more deeply than we ourselves do.  He feels everything we've been denied.  Remember, He too was denied by His own people (Matthew 13:54-58, Mark 6:1-6, Luke 4:16-30) and by His friends (Mark 14:66-72).  He knows what it means and how it feels to be denied, to be rejected, He knows how that feeling can consume us.  It leads us to hide in the shadows...and it is there, in the darkness of our shadows that He comes with His glorious, marvelous Light.

The end of this song has made me cry before, especially when I think about it in a God-centered context.  "Brush back your hair" honestly makes me imagine God brushing back my hair.  I love having my hair brushed, I love when Mr. Irish brushes my hair out of my face, so to imagine God brushing back my hair is quite possibly the most relaxing and comforting thing in the world.  "Look around you, feeling like the Truth has found you here," Jesus has found you here.  He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  He has found you here in the shadows and He is calling you into His light, into His love.  "You're here with Me."  Always.  We are with Him, but no matter where we go, He is with us.  There is something insanely beautiful about that line that I struggle to put into words..."you're here with Me."  Period.  Awesome.

"Let Love become the mirror," for Love, His Love, is the way that we should measure everything.  Saint Augustine once said, "the measure of love is to love without measure."  If you let Love become the mirror perhaps we can begin to live out what St. Augustine meant.  The Goo Goo Dolls continue, "with no fear..."  John writes, in his first letter, "there is no fear in love" (1 John 4:18).  Therefore, there is nothing to fear in the mirror of love, it only reflects what we have become: beautiful.