without you Here.

I love the Goo Goo Dolls and I have for sometime, though they've been a little difficult to listen to lately.  But anytime this song comes on I can't skip it because somehow it just feels wrong.  This may quite possibly be my favorite song of their's EVER.  And maybe its not all about God...but maybe it is!  See for yourself!

Song: Without You Here
Artist: Goo Goo Dolls
Lyrics:
Your love's a gathered storm I chased across the sky
A moment in your arms became the reason why
And you're still the only light that fills the emptiness
The only one I need until my dying breath
And I would give you everything just to
Feel your open arms
And I'm not sure I believe anything I feel

And now, now that you're near
There's nothing more without you
Without you here

And I'm trying to believe
In things that I don't know
The turning of the world
The color of your soul
That love could kill the pain
Truth is never vain
It turns strangers into lovers
And enemies to brothers
Just say you understand
I never had this planned

And now, now that you're near
There's nothing more without you
Without you here
Without you here
There's nothing more without you
Without you here

My head lies to my heart
And my heart it still believes
It seems the ones who love us are the ones
That we deceive
But you're changing everything
You're changing everything in me

And now, now that you're near
There's nothing more without you
Without you here

I so feel like God's love is a storm I chase across the sky.  Sometimes the storm seems so far away, other times I feel like my bones are soaked in His love.  Sometimes His love feels elusive and I really have to chase it, other times it feels like the storm is chasing me.  The next line is probably my favorite line in the whole song, "A moment in Your arms became the reason why"...the whole first verse is amazing but that line just rings true in my heart.  A moment in His arms is the reason why.  That first moment I really fell in love with Jesus has become the reason why I do everything...its the reason I was a theology major, its the reason I'm a youth minister, its the reason why I love, I live, I forgive, it is the reason why everything is the way it is.  And He is still the only light that fills the emptiness.  Whenever I feel alone or lost or as if I'm in a desert, His Light fills the emptiness.  He shows me where I need to be and fills the emptiness with His love.  He is truly the only One I need until my dying breath...and beyond.  Its so easy to forget that, to think that I need anything else more than I need Him.  He is all I need, He is more than enough for me until my dying breath, until I meet Him in heaven. 

How much would we give for just a moment in His arms?  Everything.  I can't tell you how many times a day I would love to just nestle up in the arms of the Lord and simply rest in His infinite awesomeness.  "I would give You everything just to feel Your open arms..."  I'd give You my whole heart, even my life if You asked for it just to feel Your open arms, embracing me with Your love. 

And then the doubt comes in..."I'm not sure I believe anything I feel."  We get caught up in the Love, in the awesomeness of God and we begin to wonder if any of it is real.  "And now, now that You're near, there's nothing more without you, without you here."  Now that You are here, there is nothing more I could need, nothing more I could want.  I don't want life without You in it.  The doubt fades away as we begin to rest our hearts in His presence.  He is always here.

"And I'm trying to believe in things that I don't know..."  The world tells us that God isn't real because we can't see Him, can't touch Him, can't hear Him.  Faith is that attempt to believe in things that we don't definitively know.  The turning of the world...we can't feel it.  We believe it because scientists tells us that's the way it is.  The color of the soul...souls have colors?  I hope mine is red.  I love red.  "That love could kill the pain, that truth is never vain..."  Another one of my favorite lines.  Love can kill the pain.  I think back on all the times that I've really had my heart broken and the thing that eased the pain was Love...the Love that God showered me with.  Truth is never vain.  Jesus tells us that He is the way, the truth and the life...is Jesus vain?  I think not.  Truth is never vain...it turns strangers into lovers, and enemies to brothers.  Wow...I just got that line in a whole new way.  People who were once strangers can turn into lovers by Truth, by Jesus, by an honesty between them.  Truth: God has placed you on my heart and I want to pursue you.  BAM.  Strangers into lovers.  Truth turns enemies to brothers, people who had once believed a lie about each other can be turned into brothers, the best of friends when truth is revealed.  Just say you understand, I never had this planned...do we ever plan any of this?  I think not.  God, just say You understand, because You know that I didn't have this planned.  Just say You get it, You've got this planned.

Then the bridge ends with the greatest truth about faith: but You're changing everything, You're changing everything in me.  God, You change EVERYTHING.  Sometimes, if I'm honest, it drives me a little nuts.  And, He changes everything in me.  Couldn't You just change one thing at a time?  In the last month I've gone from unemployed and single to someone with two jobs and I've entered into a beautiful courtship...its a lot of change, but its that unplanned stuff, its all about the grace and beauty that comes from trusting completely in His plan.  He changes my heart, He changes the way I look at the world, He changes the way I think about people, He changes...me.

Lord, may we never have to live without You here.  Change me.  Just say You understand because You know, You know better than anyone else that I didn't have any of this planned.  Help me to see that Your plan is better and to trust You, even if I feel like I'm chasing a storm across the sky.  AMEN.