love is not a Fight.

It may have its super cheesy and even wildly predictable moments, but I highly recommend you watch the movie "Fireproof".  After watching that movie this weekend I've been playing the following song on repeat for days, so its no real surprise that it is this week's song of the week!

Song: Love Is Not A Fight
Artist: Warren Barfield
Lyrics:

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
Then commit to never leave

So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us
But demand we give our all

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for

Sometimes I feel like a song is just so awesome that all you have to do is read the lyrics and you are hooked, no explanation needed.  This song is one of those songs...but I'll explain its awesomeness anyway!

"Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love." - 1 John 4:8
This song rocks on its own merits, but listen to it and substitute "God" in everytime Warren sings "love".  God is shelter in a raging storm, God is peace in the middle of a war...God is not a fight, but He's something worth fighting for.  Brilliant.

The first verse...God is not a place to come and go as we please, He's a house we enter in and then commit to never leave.  God has done the same for us, He comes into our hearts and He doesn't come and go as He pleases, He enters in and never leaves, and He lovingly asks the same of us.  Lock the door behind you, don't give yourself an exit from the loving arms of God.  We (you and God) will work it out together...let His love bring you to your knees in prayer.  I also love this image for couples...the idea of being locked in a room together where they won't allow themselves to leave until the problems at hand are solved is awesome.  They commit to spend as much time as needed to get their relationship back on track and back in the house of love and the best way to do that is through prayer, through time spent on their knees asking God to show them where to go from here.

Verse two: brilliant, part two.  To some, love is a word they can simply fall into.  How true this is for so many relationships...and how easy it has become today for people to simply "fall out of love" and end a relationship, a marriage, a covenant.  Love is so much more than a word we simply fall into, its a choice we choose to make, day in and day out, moment to moment.  So keep that word, keep that choice, keep the relationship, the marriage, the covenant...fall into love, then lock the door and choose to keep falling in love every single day.

"Love will come to save us..."...or..."God will come to save us..." and He will, and He does in the person of Jesus.  He comes to save us through Mary, through Scripture, through the Sacraments, through prayer.  He will come to save us if only we'll call on Him, if only we seek Him with our whole hearts.  The next line I understand but I don't totally agree with...God doesn't demand.  He gives us free will.  Rather than demanding, He lovingly and patiently invites us to give our all.

And in the end our Heavenly Father and Jesus and perhaps one day our (future) spouse will say..."I will fight for you.  Would you fight for me?  Its worth fighting for."

Jesus, You are worth fighting for.  Help me come into the house of Your Love and commit to never leave.  Help me to love like You in all that I do, AMEN.

all your Heart.

Love takes your whole heart, it requires your whole heart.  Not part of your heart, not some of your heart, not even some of the time, but all of the time.  Ok, love doesn't demand your heart but it invites your heart, it requires your whole heart.

I think that on some level we all understand this notion, at least in our minds.  It is another thing entirely to not only get it in our hearts but to live it out.  And as with all good things, it starts with God.

"God yearns to be known.  But he wants to be sought after by those who would know him.  He says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer. 29:13).  There is dignity here; God does not throw himself at any passerby.  He is no harlot.  If you would know him you must love him; you must seek him with your whole heart..." -John and Stasi Eldredge, Captivating

God wants our WHOLE hearts.  He wants our hearts to be whole and to be His.  But, you say, my heart isn't whole, so God doesn't want it.  Incorrect.  Satan would love nothing more than for you to believe that lie.  God wants your heart, He wants to make it whole again.  He wants you to seek after God.  I love when King David is referred to as a man after God's own heart, and I pray that people say that about me...well, more that I am a woman after God's own heart ;-)  King David was no saint, however.  Perhaps you know the story, perhaps you don't.  King David had an affair with a woman named Bathsheba and conceived a child with her.  Bathsheba was married to one of King David's best soldiers, who was at war when this child was conceived.  Eventually, King David ordered Bathsheba's husband to the front lines where he would be killed...all this in hopes that David could cover up his own sins.  And even still, King David is referred to as a man after God's heart.  Why?  Read Psalm 51.  Psalm 51 is David's lament to God, his pleading that his sins would be forgiven.  David returns to God with his whole heart.  David, though an imperfect sinner, turned to God with his whole heart and fell in love with God all over again.  Love (that is, God) never demands your whole heart, it only invites, pleads, begs even, for your whole heart.

God wants your whole heart.  I'd even contend that if you don't love God with your whole heart, you aren't really loving Him at all.  You are liking Him, you are flirting with God, with the idea of God, but you aren't really loving Him.  Someone once told me that to love is to surrender to love...just look at Jesus hanging on the cross in the total surrender to love.  Think that didn't take all of His heart, human and divine?  It took His whole heart, and He asks, not demands, but asks the same of us.

"...This is crucial to any woman's soul, not to mention her sexuality.  "You cannot simply have me.  You must seek me, pursue me.  I won't let you in unless I know you love me."" -John and Stasi Eldredge, Captivating 

True about a woman, true about romantic love.  Just as we are called to love God with our whole hearts, so to are we called to love our significant other with our whole hearts.  To say I love you means a surrender to love, a surrender to the will of God in your lives.  To say I love you means that I love with all of my heart, not just part of it.  It means that I hold nothing back from you, there is nothing that I keep from you, no wall you can't go behind, no secret you can't know.  It means making the choice to love all of the time, not just some of the time.  It means that you take the Love that God pours into your heart and you share it with one another.  Does that really sound like something you can do with half of your heart?  I should think not.

Father, help us to love you with our whole hearts.  Help us to be like King David, not in his sins, but in the ways that he was a man after your heart.  Grant us the strength to get back up, to seek you with all of our hearts all of our days until the day we come to Heaven.  We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever, AMEN.

without you Here.

I love the Goo Goo Dolls and I have for sometime, though they've been a little difficult to listen to lately.  But anytime this song comes on I can't skip it because somehow it just feels wrong.  This may quite possibly be my favorite song of their's EVER.  And maybe its not all about God...but maybe it is!  See for yourself!

Song: Without You Here
Artist: Goo Goo Dolls
Lyrics:
Your love's a gathered storm I chased across the sky
A moment in your arms became the reason why
And you're still the only light that fills the emptiness
The only one I need until my dying breath
And I would give you everything just to
Feel your open arms
And I'm not sure I believe anything I feel

And now, now that you're near
There's nothing more without you
Without you here

And I'm trying to believe
In things that I don't know
The turning of the world
The color of your soul
That love could kill the pain
Truth is never vain
It turns strangers into lovers
And enemies to brothers
Just say you understand
I never had this planned

And now, now that you're near
There's nothing more without you
Without you here
Without you here
There's nothing more without you
Without you here

My head lies to my heart
And my heart it still believes
It seems the ones who love us are the ones
That we deceive
But you're changing everything
You're changing everything in me

And now, now that you're near
There's nothing more without you
Without you here

I so feel like God's love is a storm I chase across the sky.  Sometimes the storm seems so far away, other times I feel like my bones are soaked in His love.  Sometimes His love feels elusive and I really have to chase it, other times it feels like the storm is chasing me.  The next line is probably my favorite line in the whole song, "A moment in Your arms became the reason why"...the whole first verse is amazing but that line just rings true in my heart.  A moment in His arms is the reason why.  That first moment I really fell in love with Jesus has become the reason why I do everything...its the reason I was a theology major, its the reason I'm a youth minister, its the reason why I love, I live, I forgive, it is the reason why everything is the way it is.  And He is still the only light that fills the emptiness.  Whenever I feel alone or lost or as if I'm in a desert, His Light fills the emptiness.  He shows me where I need to be and fills the emptiness with His love.  He is truly the only One I need until my dying breath...and beyond.  Its so easy to forget that, to think that I need anything else more than I need Him.  He is all I need, He is more than enough for me until my dying breath, until I meet Him in heaven. 

How much would we give for just a moment in His arms?  Everything.  I can't tell you how many times a day I would love to just nestle up in the arms of the Lord and simply rest in His infinite awesomeness.  "I would give You everything just to feel Your open arms..."  I'd give You my whole heart, even my life if You asked for it just to feel Your open arms, embracing me with Your love. 

And then the doubt comes in..."I'm not sure I believe anything I feel."  We get caught up in the Love, in the awesomeness of God and we begin to wonder if any of it is real.  "And now, now that You're near, there's nothing more without you, without you here."  Now that You are here, there is nothing more I could need, nothing more I could want.  I don't want life without You in it.  The doubt fades away as we begin to rest our hearts in His presence.  He is always here.

"And I'm trying to believe in things that I don't know..."  The world tells us that God isn't real because we can't see Him, can't touch Him, can't hear Him.  Faith is that attempt to believe in things that we don't definitively know.  The turning of the world...we can't feel it.  We believe it because scientists tells us that's the way it is.  The color of the soul...souls have colors?  I hope mine is red.  I love red.  "That love could kill the pain, that truth is never vain..."  Another one of my favorite lines.  Love can kill the pain.  I think back on all the times that I've really had my heart broken and the thing that eased the pain was Love...the Love that God showered me with.  Truth is never vain.  Jesus tells us that He is the way, the truth and the life...is Jesus vain?  I think not.  Truth is never vain...it turns strangers into lovers, and enemies to brothers.  Wow...I just got that line in a whole new way.  People who were once strangers can turn into lovers by Truth, by Jesus, by an honesty between them.  Truth: God has placed you on my heart and I want to pursue you.  BAM.  Strangers into lovers.  Truth turns enemies to brothers, people who had once believed a lie about each other can be turned into brothers, the best of friends when truth is revealed.  Just say you understand, I never had this planned...do we ever plan any of this?  I think not.  God, just say You understand, because You know that I didn't have this planned.  Just say You get it, You've got this planned.

Then the bridge ends with the greatest truth about faith: but You're changing everything, You're changing everything in me.  God, You change EVERYTHING.  Sometimes, if I'm honest, it drives me a little nuts.  And, He changes everything in me.  Couldn't You just change one thing at a time?  In the last month I've gone from unemployed and single to someone with two jobs and I've entered into a beautiful courtship...its a lot of change, but its that unplanned stuff, its all about the grace and beauty that comes from trusting completely in His plan.  He changes my heart, He changes the way I look at the world, He changes the way I think about people, He changes...me.

Lord, may we never have to live without You here.  Change me.  Just say You understand because You know, You know better than anyone else that I didn't have any of this planned.  Help me to see that Your plan is better and to trust You, even if I feel like I'm chasing a storm across the sky.  AMEN.

well, Poop.

"Jesus said to his disciples:

"A good tree does not bear rotten fruit,
nor does a rotten tree bear good fruit.
For every tree is known by its own fruit.
For people do not pick figs from thornbushes,
nor do they gather grapes from brambles.
A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good,
but an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil;
for from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks.""  -Luke 6:43-45

Are we really good people?  A few of my college professors often criticized St. Augustine for his negative view of humanity, for his strongly held belief that humans are full of sin, concupiscence and original sin (Augustine was among the first theologians to really detail the theology behind original sin).  So, if we are born with original sin and if we are sinners all our lives, then are we really good people?  Do we bear good fruit?  Are we a good tree?  Do we have a store of goodness in our hearts, or a store of evil?

I think it all depends on our roots.  What are you rooted in?  A tree, rooted in good and fertile soil that receives sunshine and a decent amount of rain will bear good fruit.  Its no wonder that Scripture often talks about soil and trees in comparison to the human heart, the analogy has endless wisdom in it.  Our hearts are the tree and we are called to root them in God.  He, after all, is the BEST and MOST fertile soil.  We receive endless Sonshine from Him, and He longs to shower us with His mercy that we would produce much fruit.  [yes, those puns were fully intended and I'm laughing at the awesome wonder of God that He would make such puns so...fruitful.  Ok, maybe I'll stop now.]

But what happens when our hearts aren't rooted in Him?  What happens when we take our roots out of His rich soil and place them deep in...poop?  Or, in sin?  We suffer.  We don't grow, we don't bear as much or any good fruit.  Our roots become withered as they search in vain for fertile soil.  Oh, but the glory of God shines even through poop.  Yes, poop.

What do we use to make trees and plants grow?  Fertilizer.  And what is fertilizer made of?  Poop.  God, in His infinite goodness (and perhaps even His comedic genius) uses even our waste to grow.  If He can make it so that even poop can be fertile, then He can certainly make it so that our sufferings, our sin can be fertile as well.

By no means am I saying that you should go out and sin to your little heart's content saying that God can and will use your "poop" to grow your heart.  Wrong.  Father Chris Kirchgessner once said, "the only thing sin teaches us is how to sin more."  Don't misread my point.  We are human, and we are, at times, incredibly weak but the glory of our weakness is that God can and does use that to teach us, to return the roots of our hearts to His rich soil.

Archbishop Charles Chaput has a great quote about suffering and how it can be good for us, and I think the idea works as well for sin (read: poop).  "Suffering can bend and break us.  But it can also break us open to become the persons God intended us to be.  It depends on what we do with the pain.  If we offer it back to God, He will use it to do great things in us and through us, because suffering is fertile."  Sin can bend and break us, but it can also be used to break us open to become who God wants us to be.  It all depends on what we do with the pain, with the sin, with our poopiness.  If we offer it back to God, if we come before Him with humbled and contrite hearts He will use it to do great things in us and through us, because poop is fertile.  (Remember, sin isn't fertile, it only cultivates more sin.) 

So what are you doing with your poopiness?  Are you going to let it sit and rot in the field of your heart?  Or are you going to offer it to God and allow Him to turn it into fertilizer so that the roots of  your heart may grow deeper in His love?

Lord, though we sin and take our hearts out of Your fertile soil, may we be granted the grace to turn back to Your love, to Your fertile soil, to the endless fields of Your rich mercy.  We ask that you take our poop, take our sin and make it into fertilizer, for we know that all things are for Your glory (1 Peter 4:11).  May Your glory shine, even through our human weakness.  May our hearts, by Your grace and abundant fertilization be turned into radiant fields, glowing with Your rich harvest.  AMEN.

Prodigal

I've been thinking about the song all day and have changed my mind about the song of the week about 20 times in the last 5 minutes.  Someone recently asked me what would happen if I titled a blog something that was only one word since I always capitalize the last word of the title...well, here we are.  There's a first time for everything!  As I mentioned last week (and in Monday's blog), this series is going under a bit of construction...so if you have songs that you love and you are trying to find God in them, send 'em my way, you never know when I may feature your favorite!

Song of the Week: Prodigal
Artist: OneRepublic
Lyrics:
We say good-bye
I turn my back
Run away, run away
So predictable
Not far from here
You see me crack
Like a bone, like a bone
I'm so breakable

And I take everything from you
But you'll take anything
Won't you?

Run away, run away
Like a prodigal
Don't you wait for me
Don't you wait for me
So ashamed, so ashamed
But I need you so
And you wait for me
And you wait for me

I'm on the road
To who knows where?
Look ahead, not behind
I keep saying
There's no place to go
Where you're not there
On your rope, I hold tight
But it's freeing

And I take everything from you
But you'll take anything
Won't you?

Run away, run away
Like a prodigal
Don't you wait for me
Don't you wait for me
So ashamed, so ashamed
But I need you so
And you wait for me
And you wait for me

Everybody wants to be right
But only if it's not day light
I keep trying to find my way back
My way back

Run away, run away
Like a prodigal
Don't you wait for me
Don't you wait for me
So ashamed, so ashamed
But I need you so
And you wait for me
And you wait for me

Runaway
Runaway
Runaway
From you
From you
From you

The name of this song just makes me think of the Parable of the Prodigal Son, which is, quite possibly, my favorite parable in all of Scripture.  So you can imagine how much I loved hearing this song, which, to me describes such a brilliant parable in such great musical detail.  Believe you me I could spend an entire blog, or two, or three...on my love for the Parable of the Prodigal Son and why it is so fantastic, but that's not really the point of this blog. 

If you haven't read or heard the Parable of the Prodigal Son (a.k.a. the Parable of the Lost Son) recently, you may want to go check it out (Luke 15:11-32, or read it here).  Basically every time I hear or read this story I relate to a different character in it, but most of the time I can always relate to the younger son, the one who demands the inheritance and runs away, which is another reason I love this song by OneRepublic.  "We say goodbye, I turn my back"...we say goodbye to God so often I don't even want to count them all.  We turn our backs, we say, consciously or subconsciously, "I don't need You, I've got this one.  Really, You can sit this one out Mr. Infinite Knowledge."  Yes, it sounds ridiculous, but we've all done it...probably even multiple times today.  We do it in big ways and in small ways.  "That's okay, I'm tired, I don't really need to pray before going to bed."  Or, "I know I probably shouldn't be going out with these friends or staying out late, but...."  Sound familiar yet?  Yet another reason this song is fantastic, its tone, the key all seem to capture the sadness we feel deep down when we turn our backs on God.  We are SO predictable.

We walk, we run away, we turn our backs on God.  And yet, not far from here, He sees us crack.  But we are a proud people, we don't need to turn back.  We may be cracking, breaking at the seems, but our foolish pride (what a great gift from the Fall...NOT) tells us that we can keep ourselves together.  We are SO breakable.

When I think about how easily broken we are, its hard not to wonder why we are that way.  Then I remember a few brilliant words from the eternally wise C.S. Lewis, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His mega-phone to rouse a deaf world."  He uses our brokenness, our fragility to call us back to His perfection, to His unbrokenness, to His stability. 

Run away, run away like a prodigal, run away like the son in the story.  We buy into the lies Satan tells us that the Father isn't waiting for us.  "Don't You wait for me," we believe, rather foolishly, that He isn't waiting.  We think He is human, that He too will turn His back on us.  But in time, we realize how much we need Him, "so ashamed, but I need You so" and we turn around to find Him right there, waiting in love for us.

So you would think that once would be enough to learn our lesson: don't turn your back on God, you will crack and break and have to return in shame.  If only it were that easy!  God knows this is a lesson I am STILL learning (He knows just how thick-headed I can be).  Its not that easy, and we head out again "on the road to who knows where," wandering like the lost children that we are.  We look all around us and we feel so alone, we left God in the dust...again.  But then the beauty of His truth cries out, "there's no place to go where You're not there".  He is everywhere.  He is waiting.

Its a cycle.  Its a process.  We all go through it, we run away...but do we run back with the same fervor that we ran away with?  When I read the story in Scripture I always picture the Father running (as if he were in the Olympics even) towards his son...but how hard is the son running?  When you find yourself away from the Father, when you find that you've turned your back on Him, run to Him with all that you have and I can promise you that you won't be running long.  He is waiting to embrace you with His love..and He's God, I imagine He's got pretty long legs...He runs pretty fast!

Lord, we know that we turn our backs on You more times than we care to count.  Help us keep from turning our backs on You and if we do, help us to run back to You faster than we ran away.  Grant us the grace to never leave Your loving arms.  AMEN.

a more excellent Way.

"But I shall show you a still more excellent way..." - 1 Corinthians 12:31

Before I begin this week's (potentially epic) blog, I feel as though a disclaimer is in order: This blog, in no way, shape, or form, should be taken as a "holier than thou" or "I'm way better than you are" blog.  As I said in last week's song of the week blog, my heart is changing so it only makes sense to explain why its changing and what God is showing me in all of this.  I'm not necessarily saying what is better, but what I believe is a more excellent way, straight from the heart of God Himself.  That being said, God is working wonders in my heart. 

Courting. 

One of my friends last night said that he thought people only courted in the 14th century.  Perhaps the idea and/or practice of courting seems a bit antiquated, but perhaps it needs a bit of a revival.  The nerd in me looked up the definition of "court" as a verb...its definition number 17 in the dictionary I checked.  Seventeen?  Clearly we've neglected this practice, this way of understanding why a man and a woman are brought together.  "To try to win the favor, preference or goodwill of..."  Eh, next definition please.  ""To seek the affections of; woo."  While I love the word "woo" even this definition falls short.  After that one the definitions get a bit ridiculous, "to attempt to attract a mate by engaging in certain species-specific behaviors."  Really?  Now all I'm thinking about is that scene from "The Ugly Truth" when Gerard Butler is talking about Bonobo monkies.  Why do these definitions fail to...be good?  They don't even begin to describe or explain the awesomness of courting so I've made it my new mission to redefine courting:

Dating on God-infused steroids.

Ok, even that falls short.  As I've been praying about all of this I kept coming back to the verse that precedes Paul's famous discourse on love.  "But I shall show you a still more excellent way."  I've dated, let me just start by saying that.  And, I've had my heart broken.  For months ever since I started writing this blog I've been talking about marriage and love and the kind of love we are called to with our future spouse, whether we know who that is yet or not. 

Friends, there is a still more excellent way.  Whenever I was dating someone we always thought we were going towards marriage, otherwise we wouldn't be dating.  But in the end that general sense of direction just wasn't good enough.  I'm sure you (or I) could count how many times since the beginning of this blog I've talked about how a woman should be a woman, a godly woman who knows what she deserves (by the grace of God) and isn't afraid to ask for it, and if a guy can't accept that he'll either MAN UP, rise to the occasion and pursue your heart...or he'll walk away.  And enter me eating my own words...and courtship.

Courtship is a beautiful way of understanding God's plan for our lives.  Courtship is centered on and rooted in prayer, and therefore in God Himself.  Antoine de Saint Exupery once said, "Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward in the same direction."  I think that quote could possibly sum up courtship: we aren't looking at each other (as can often be the case with casual dating), but we are looking at God TOGETHER.  Sure, we look at each other, its not as though I wear a blindfold when I spend time with my significant other.  But we aren't focused on each other, we are focused on God, and subsequently we focus on getting to know each other's hearts.  We fall in love first with God.  Only after we love Him do we look at each other.  Our time spent together is centered around prayer, around God.  We both pray that He would show us the other's heart and through that prayer He reveals our hearts to each other. 

Courtship begins with direction and with discernment.  Whenever I dated in the past we had that vague understanding of where we were going and what the end goal eventually was.  When courting, we both know from the beginning and are constatnly praying about where He is calling us: to the Sacrament of Marriage.  We don't just want a wedding or a marriage, we want a life together, a life spent sharing in the kind of relationship that is known to the Trinity alone.  We want a life rooted in the Trinity, rooted in Love, rooted in the Sacraments.  We take our hearts to God, and by His grace, and only if it is His will, He gives our hearts to our significant other (courtmate?  courter?  Labels fail here). 

Again, I'm not saying that dating is a bad thing, however I've come to see in recent weeks that there is a still more excellent way.  I give my heart to God, I constantly throw myself at His feet and yet He chooses to trust my heart, to show my heart to the man who is courting me.  This entire relationship began and continues in prayer.  He prayed about his feelings for weeks before he brought them to me and when we talked about courting he gave me the opportunity to pray about it, to bring my own heart to God.  He challenged me to pray more, to throw myself deeper into His arms of love.  He laid his heart on the line and placed his trust in God, trusting that He would guide my heart and his heart as he waited for me in prayer.  As I prayed about entering into this courtship, he prayed for me.  Its crazy to look back now and see how those first fruits of prayer are continuing to blossom.  Its amazing to read old blogs and realize that God knew exactly what I wanted and that He was, and in fact is listening to my prayers.  He and I pray together everyday, even if we can't see each other and we both know that it is how He keeps us close to one another.  (The first "he" in that sentence is referring to the man who is courting me, but because its "He" it appears as though God and I pray together everyday, which is completely true.  I pray to Him and with Him.  He guides my prayers.)  We take our hearts to God in prayer everyday, and by praying together He not only keeps our hearts close to Him, but to each other as well.  "A still more excellent way" to be sure.

I could go on and certainly get all mushy about how fantastic courting is, but rather I'll challenge you - what is God calling you to?  Is He calling you to a still more excellent way?  Are you looking at your significant other or are you together looking towards heaven?  Towards God's heart?  Towards the Sacrament of Marriage?  Take your heart to God in prayer and ask Him to show you His plans for you.  He may not answer instantly or on your time tables.  That is okay!  I can promise you that when (not if, but WHEN) He answers it will absolutely blow your mind just how much love He showers us with.  Choose the still more excellent way - choose God.  Love God.

Lord, may Your words in my heart be what Your children need to hear, may they grow closer to You through the words You place in my heart.  Continue to guide our hearts as we seek always to fall deeper in love with Your Son, Jesus.  Reveal to us a still more excellent way.  AMEN.

bless the broken Road

It is getting increasingly harder to pick a song to feature in the "Songs About Waiting" series so...don't be totally shocked if this series changes a bit in the coming weeks.  It will still feature awesome songs all about God and His infinite goodness, though they may not all be about waiting for love.  This in no way, shape or form means that there is a shortage of songs about waiting, but the upcoming change in the series is more a reflection of where my heart is at.  And, if you've been reading my blog for any amount of time you know that I write straight from the heart, so to attempt to write from anywhere else would be a disservice to my readers, to my own heart and to God Himself who places these things on my heart!  That being said...the song of the week!

Song: Bless the Broken Road
Artist: Rascal Flatts
Lyrics:
I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

But now I'm just rolling home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I can't tell you how many times I've played this song over the years when I'm feeling lonely or after a break up or just because.  If you trusted my iTunes count it says 48 times but that doesn't include the hours and days I had it on repeat in my car, so God only knows how many times I've listened to this song. 

Don't we all set out on a narrow way?   We are, after all, looking for love and we don't want just anybody (perhaps in our deperation we would take anybody but if we are truly honest with ourselves then we have certain characteristics in mind).  We set out many years ago...don't you still remember your first crush?  I know I was a bit boy crazy and can remember having a crush on some boy named Tim in kindergarten.  Yes, that's right, I was five and basically convinced that I was going to marry him.  I also went through a phase when I was about seven where I loved Andres Galarraga (he played for the Colorado Rockies) so much that I told people we were engaged.  Boy craziness aside, God knows I set out on this course many years ago hoping to find true love, and whether I found it in my kindergarten classroom or at the Rockies games, I was out to find it. 

Oh but didn't we all get lost a time or two?  God bless you if you've never had a broken heart that only God could mend, but that wasn't the case for me.  I got lost a time or two, I had to crawl back to the feet of Jesus, begging Him to mend my heart.  He alone helped me to push through.  I couldn't see then how every sign was pointing me straight to the one God has chosen for me.  *sidenote* I'm a big believer in signs, some people say that I see them everywhere and make too much out of them, but I don't believe in coincidences.  God sends us signs everywhere, if only we open our eyes to see them.


"Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars, pointing me on my way into your loving arms..."  I've always loved this line.  Others who broke my heart pointed me back to God, whether or not they realized it.  Deep down I know that the only place a broken heart can heal is in the loving arms of God.  And, oh, those broken hearts.  I detest that my heart has been broken, it was certainly no fun.  What I dislike perhaps more is that anyone broke my future husband's heart.  How dare they?  What gives them the right?  And even though their pain may have been beyond words, somehow, by the grace of God, He uses that and leads us to our future mates.  Even our hurts work together, so long as we bring our hurts first to God.

The next verse always reminds me of "The Day Before You" (which I featured last week), its all about the years we spend just passing through.  Maybe it doesn't feel like wasted years, and really they shouldn't - God is using those days, weeks, months and years before you meet your beloved to shape you, to mold you into the person He wants you to be.  After all, its all part of a grander plan that is coming true.  And dear folks, it is coming true.  He is working even at this moment to prepare your heart and your future spouse's heart to be united in His perfect love.

Lord, help us to keep from being discouraged on the broken road.  Help us to see Your love, Your goodness in all of it as we place our trust in You, believing that You are guiding us along this broken road until the day we roll home into Your loving arms.  This much we know is true, You bless the broken road that leads us straight to You, and, if You are willing, to even more love along the way.  AMEN.

the intimacy of Prayer

I generally have an idea where I want a blog to go, but somehow starting it, getting to the point that I want to make is sometimes far more difficult than making the point God puts on my heart.  So how fitting is it that this week He places prayer on my heart, so as I struggle to find the words to describe His love I shall simply begin in His name...

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, AMEN.

When I was a youth minister the teens used to call the sign of the cross "dialing in" others call it "signing on" to God.  The sign of the cross reminds us who we are and places us in the presence of God.  When we cross ourselves we are reminded that our entire bodies are made for worship.  The world often tells us that our bodies are made for use, for attraction, seduction, sex.  Wrong.  Our bodies, all that we are is made in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:26...that verse was POUNDED into my head in my theology classes in college!).  Our bodies were made by Him and for Him.  Our bodies glorify Him, so when we cross ourselves we ought to be reminded that everything we do is for His glory.

In a world that so often tells us that we are made for sex we come all to easily to equate sex with intimacy.  In many way sex is extraordinarily intimate, but in other ways it can be anything but.  Our hearts long for intimacy because we were created out of the intimacy known to the Trinity alone.  The Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) is the truest form of relationship and because we were created from that Love we long to share in that same kind of intimacy.  Our desire for such intimacy is known to Satan, and it is known to the world.  Why do you think ads are so full of desire?  Advertising companies know that all people long for intimacy so in order to sell their products they use sex to make us think that sex or being sexy will fill that longing in our hearts.  But does sex really fill that void?  I would contend that it doesn't.  Ever.

What about in marriage you say?  Not even there.  Sex isn't enough to make a marriage last, sex doesn't create intimacy.  Prayer does.  When we pray we open our hearts to God, we are welcomed into the interior life of the Trinity and we are filled by the intimacy the Trinity shares with us.  Prayer is more intimate than anything the world could offer us, and it is far better because you can't really sell prayer (let's forget for a moment about that whole selling indulgences thing...).  Prayer comes freely, it is the gateway to the heart of God.  As St. Therese of Lisieux once said, "for me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy."  Prayer is a surge of the heart, it is an intimacy with the God who created us.

But prayer doesn't stop there.  Prayer can (and should be) intimate with others, which is why I contend that sex, even in a Sacramental marriage doesn't fill the void, it isn't total intimacy.  That kind of intimacy can only come through prayer, through shared prayer in which we ask God to show us our significant other's heart.  We pray for them when we can't see them, we pray for them before we meet them.  We pray for them when we are together and we pray with each other when we are together.  We pray for each other when we are apart.  This kind of intimacy, these shared prayers are the only way to real intimacy, to sharing in the loving relationship of the Trinity.  Besides, if you and your significant other pray with God, aren't there three people involved?  Yes!  More trinity!

Matt Maher has a great song about how love can hold us together, but I would say even more that prayer holds us together.  You and your significant other can't see each other for a few days or weeks?  Make a time, no matter where you are and what you are doing to stop and say a prayer for each other.  Say the Rosary together even if you are on opposite ends of the world.   Trust me when I say that when you open your hearts to each other and to God in prayer He will keep your hearts close even though the miles between you may seem endless.  Through prayer we keep our hearts close to God, through prayer He keeps our hearts close to those we love.  So, when you have that hunger for intimacy and you find that its not being filled by the world, remember that you are made for God and in Him alone we find intimacy, we find love, we find peace.

Lord, may we always come to you in prayer for you know our hearts better than we ourselves know them.  May you keep and guard our hearts and the hearts of those we love.  Though we may be absent from those we care most deeply about may you keep our hearts joined by the power of Your Love.  AMEN.