I've been reflecting a lot lately on relationships and friendships and what makes a good significant other or a good friend. Of the best friends I have and the people I know who are truly happy in their relationships, I've found one theme: they love God first. They love Him first, not second, not when its convenient, not just when things are good, but always. Then it hit me that their primary love for God is what teaches them to be a good friend, a good boyfriend or girlfriend, a good spouse.
Loving God first teaches us to be a good friend. You can't love God if you don't communicate with Him. We have to talk to Him, to be honest with Him, to lay our burdens on Him. But we also have to listen. Often times listening to God is much harder than listening to someone right next to you. God doesn't really pick up the phone and call you or send you a text to let you know what's going on. His way of communication isn't always as clear, and therefore it usually takes more effort to truly hear Him. I think He does this on purpose. By taking the extra effort to listen to God, we are being trained to make that special effort with our friends. Sometimes they don't always want to open up, but if we love God first and we are patient with Him in waiting to hear His voice, then we are already primed to be patient in waiting for our friends to be willing to open up.
Loving God teaches us to be better friends because we can learn the value of silence from Him. Sometimes at the end of a bad day, all I want to do is curl up in those giant loving arms of His and just sit, just rest in His presence, knowing that He is there for me. The same is true with our friends - how often do we simply want to be with them, without needing to talk? I think this is true in a special way in romantic relationships, perhaps especially for girls. We just want to be held, we want to feel secure. By being friends with God, we are comforted in His arms so that we can, in turn, comfort our friends in the same way.
So often writing these blogs I feel as those I'm saying the same thing over and over again: its all about God. There are so many things in this world that confuse or confound me, but when I stop and pray about them, when I take time to reflect on whatever is bothering me I always seem to find that the answer is in God. The answers I seek, the peace I long for, the comfort I desire is always found in God.
But there is more. The answers, the peace, the comfort is found in God, but it is only found by going ever-deeper into the heart of God. The more I feel myself lost at sea, the more I hunger for God. St. Thomas Aquinas talked about his theory of "exitus-reditus" quite often, as does Pope Benedict XVI. This theory says that everything is from God and everything is returning to God. The more I draw on the love of God, the more I am moved to share His love with His children. The more I share His love, the more I realize how much I need and how dependent upon His love I am. When we love God first, we can't help but share that love. And in sharing that love, we are drawn back into His heart. Its a beautiful cycle, but it can only begin by loving God first.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
reality ≠ Love.
Perhaps I should clarify that title...love can exist in reality, not so much in or on reality TV. Lately, I've been watching the Bachelorette for who knows what reasons, but its interesting and it easy to get lost in day dreams of having 25 men vying for my affections. But as fun as it can be to get lost in the day dreams, there are a number of reasons that shows like this (and for that fact, many dating scenes that exist today) don't work.
1. Trust
Situations like the Bachelor, the Bachelorette and other dating scenes automatically have trust issues associated with them. How is your heart supposed to trust? Take the guys on the Bachelorette right now - how can they trust that Ashley is being truly genuine with them? I don't know about those guys, but I'd always be wondering if she was telling me something specific to me or something she was saying to every other guy competing for her affections.
Furthermore, these guys are COMPETING for...her love? If you've watched at all so far, you know there is one guy who is competing for the sake of competing - how is she supposed to trust that these guys are being genuine instead of competing for their 15 minutes of fame?
2. Your heart is divided
Ashley has 25 guys vying for her attention and chances are she feels some kind of connection with more than one of them. Her heart is divided and therefore can't focus on or nurture a deep and lasting relationship with one of them. Her heart is being taught to be divided, that its okay to have feelings for these different guys all at once. When you teach your heart, for any amount of time, that its okay to have strong feelings for more than one guy, how do you expect to be content with one guy?
3. Craving constant attention
This point is similar to the last one, Ashley has all of these men vying, competing for her attention. They pull out guitars, they wear masks, they dance her around a room, they bring her a special bottle of wine, they all do something to get her attention, and she loves it! What girl (or for that matter, what human) doesn't want that kind of attention? However, it becomes normal for her (or any other person in a similar dating situation in which you meet a lot of people at once) to get a lot of attention from a lot of different guys. Just the amount of attention she receives becomes something she starts to expect. When she narrows her pool down to one guy, what happens when he isn't always focused completely on her? What happens when they return to their everyday lives and she is still craving that attention? She's quite likely to seek (and probably find) it somewhere else.
I'm not saying that people don't or can't find love and happiness in this way, but it is quite unlikely. So what can we learn from these countless failed TV romances?
1. Trust is key. If you can't trust your significant other or you find they are constantly talking to other girls in the same way they talk to you, its probably not a relationship you want to pursue any further. All good relationships are built on a solid foundation of trust and communication and if you don't have that foundation, then work on building it or move on.
2. Don't let your heart be divided. Love God first. If you (being a male or a female) are divided in your heart about love, if your significant other (or potential significant other) doesn't push you closer to God, its probably not a relationship you want to pursue any further. God wants your heart for Himself, He is a jealous God, just check out the first commandment - He doesn't want you to love any other gods (read: boyfriend, girlfriend, cute guy down the block, etc.) before you love Him. A true partner will, by their actions and their words, love you enough so that you can love God more. To love is to will the GOOD of another, to push them towards God, not away from Him, and certainly not divide someone's heart between God and your relationship.
3. Seek attention from God. He loves you. He wants to shower you with His love, He stands at the door and knocks (Revelation 3:20). His love, His attention is the attention our hearts seek, in fact, its the only attention that will truly satisfy us. St. Augustine said, "You have made us for Yourself, oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee." When we continually seek the attention of the opposite sex perhaps we need to take a step back and realize who our true hunger is for: God. No man or woman should ever give us the attention we are supposed to seek from God.
May we find our hearts at home in the loving hands from the God who loves us and desires to be in an ever-closer relationship with Him, AMEN.
1. Trust
Situations like the Bachelor, the Bachelorette and other dating scenes automatically have trust issues associated with them. How is your heart supposed to trust? Take the guys on the Bachelorette right now - how can they trust that Ashley is being truly genuine with them? I don't know about those guys, but I'd always be wondering if she was telling me something specific to me or something she was saying to every other guy competing for her affections.
Furthermore, these guys are COMPETING for...her love? If you've watched at all so far, you know there is one guy who is competing for the sake of competing - how is she supposed to trust that these guys are being genuine instead of competing for their 15 minutes of fame?
2. Your heart is divided
Ashley has 25 guys vying for her attention and chances are she feels some kind of connection with more than one of them. Her heart is divided and therefore can't focus on or nurture a deep and lasting relationship with one of them. Her heart is being taught to be divided, that its okay to have feelings for these different guys all at once. When you teach your heart, for any amount of time, that its okay to have strong feelings for more than one guy, how do you expect to be content with one guy?
3. Craving constant attention
This point is similar to the last one, Ashley has all of these men vying, competing for her attention. They pull out guitars, they wear masks, they dance her around a room, they bring her a special bottle of wine, they all do something to get her attention, and she loves it! What girl (or for that matter, what human) doesn't want that kind of attention? However, it becomes normal for her (or any other person in a similar dating situation in which you meet a lot of people at once) to get a lot of attention from a lot of different guys. Just the amount of attention she receives becomes something she starts to expect. When she narrows her pool down to one guy, what happens when he isn't always focused completely on her? What happens when they return to their everyday lives and she is still craving that attention? She's quite likely to seek (and probably find) it somewhere else.
I'm not saying that people don't or can't find love and happiness in this way, but it is quite unlikely. So what can we learn from these countless failed TV romances?
1. Trust is key. If you can't trust your significant other or you find they are constantly talking to other girls in the same way they talk to you, its probably not a relationship you want to pursue any further. All good relationships are built on a solid foundation of trust and communication and if you don't have that foundation, then work on building it or move on.
2. Don't let your heart be divided. Love God first. If you (being a male or a female) are divided in your heart about love, if your significant other (or potential significant other) doesn't push you closer to God, its probably not a relationship you want to pursue any further. God wants your heart for Himself, He is a jealous God, just check out the first commandment - He doesn't want you to love any other gods (read: boyfriend, girlfriend, cute guy down the block, etc.) before you love Him. A true partner will, by their actions and their words, love you enough so that you can love God more. To love is to will the GOOD of another, to push them towards God, not away from Him, and certainly not divide someone's heart between God and your relationship.
3. Seek attention from God. He loves you. He wants to shower you with His love, He stands at the door and knocks (Revelation 3:20). His love, His attention is the attention our hearts seek, in fact, its the only attention that will truly satisfy us. St. Augustine said, "You have made us for Yourself, oh Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee." When we continually seek the attention of the opposite sex perhaps we need to take a step back and realize who our true hunger is for: God. No man or woman should ever give us the attention we are supposed to seek from God.
May we find our hearts at home in the loving hands from the God who loves us and desires to be in an ever-closer relationship with Him, AMEN.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
be a Man.
Disclaimer: No fully human man can fill the God-shaped hole in our hearts. In no way, shape, or form, am I saying that any man can or should fill that hole. Trying to use him to fill a hole made for Him only results in further heartache and agony. That being said...
I've talked about this before. Read the urge for a Husband first - I talk about how you can kill a woman's heart by attacking her relationships, especially her desire for romantic love.
The world is full of Adams. I'm not just talking about people named Adam, I'm referring to guys who act like biblical Adam in the Garden of Eden. Adam failed his wife. When push came to shove, he failed to defend her, to fight for her honor, take the blame for her, or even love her with any amount of his heart. The Lord asks, "Who told you that you were naked? You have eaten, then, from the tree of which I had forbidden you to eat!" And what does Adam say? How does he reply? "The woman whom you put here with me - she gave me fruit from the tree, so I ate it." (Gen. 3:11-12). Not only does he not stand up for her, he flat out blames her. Its her fault! [And how many times have you heard guys today STILL using this very excuse? Its been "our" fault since the beginning of time!? If your guy uses this excuse, that should be a HUGE red flag!]
Adam fails. Eve (though not yet named) looks to her husband for support, for relief, for defense, for hope, for love and he sells her out, he watches his own behind without care for her heart, her guilt, or her sin. Its all about him and keeping his rear end safe. Even as I write this I can think of stories my friends have told and guys I've encountered in my own life who are completely an Adam. Don't get me wrong - we needed Adam, we needed him to toil the ground and be the father of the human race, but that doesn't mean that he was right or good just because we needed him. The same is true today, just because we want (or even say that we need) a man, doesn't make all of them right. You want to strike at a woman's heart? Attack her relationships, let her down.
Women are so often looking for our heart's companion - we look to the countless Adams of this world and we are constantly let down. Time and time again they show up late for a date, they show up drunk, they made out with some one else, they don't actually love us, they bail on us at the last minute, and so many other things that leave our heart aching. We keep seeking an Adam when we really need Jesus.
Jesus defends us. Think of Mary Magdalene - she is found committing adultery and Jesus defends her as the town circles around to throw stones at her. He stands in front of her and tells everyone to go away, unless they are sinless (which they are not). He defends her.
Jesus fights for our honor. He dies on the cross that our honor would be restored, He dies so that sin does not have power over us.
Jesus takes the blame for us. Again, He dies on the cross, "He was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins" (Isaiah 53:5). He takes our shame, our pain, our sins upon His back. He takes our place on the cross that should have been ours.
Jesus gives us hope. He tells us that He is preparing a room for us in His Father's house and that He will come for us (John 14:1-4). He tells us, reminds us that we know the way and that He will be with us.
Jesus loves us. He takes us, His little sheep and guides us, He speaks to us, He send us the Advocate. Jesus loves us.
Where Adam failed, Jesus triumphs in a blaze of unending love. Seek Jesus. There are real men out there, real men who are striving to be like Jesus in a world seemingly full of Adams. Guys - do you want to know how to find love? Be love. Imitate Jesus, not Adam. Be a Man. So here's my top ten suggestions, based on the love Christ shows all of us (all of these are true whether the girl you are thinking of is your best friend, your sister, your crush or your wife):
How to Be a MAN and Love Women:
10. Do what you say you will. Call if you said you were going to (don't just send a text).
9. Be where you say you are going to be, when you say you are going to be there.
8. Be there for us - don't flake out, back out at the last minute, don't sell us out when the Lord comes a knockin'
7. Defend our honor (with special reference to our chastity of mind, body and soul).
6. Be there and listen. God listened to Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, and even though He didn't take the cup from Jesus, He listened. (You may not be able to solve our problems, but you can always listen and console us - God sent an angel to comfort Jesus [Luke 22:43] in the Garden.)
5. Share your heart with us, and we'll share ours with you.
4. Love us like we are the only girl in the world. (Jesus was thinking of each one of us INDIVIDUALLY as He hung on the cross)
3. Seek Jesus before you seek us. You can't possibly love us unless you are allowing yourself to be filled with His holy love.
2. Be a spiritual leader - lead us closer to, not further from Jesus.
1. Imitate Jesus. Love us like He loves the Church (Ephesians 5:22-27).
Its too good not to quote:
"Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish"
I've talked about this before. Read the urge for a Husband first - I talk about how you can kill a woman's heart by attacking her relationships, especially her desire for romantic love.
The world is full of Adams. I'm not just talking about people named Adam, I'm referring to guys who act like biblical Adam in the Garden of Eden. Adam failed his wife. When push came to shove, he failed to defend her, to fight for her honor, take the blame for her, or even love her with any amount of his heart. The Lord asks, "Who told you that you were naked? You have eaten, then, from the tree of which I had forbidden you to eat!" And what does Adam say? How does he reply? "The woman whom you put here with me - she gave me fruit from the tree, so I ate it." (Gen. 3:11-12). Not only does he not stand up for her, he flat out blames her. Its her fault! [And how many times have you heard guys today STILL using this very excuse? Its been "our" fault since the beginning of time!? If your guy uses this excuse, that should be a HUGE red flag!]
Adam fails. Eve (though not yet named) looks to her husband for support, for relief, for defense, for hope, for love and he sells her out, he watches his own behind without care for her heart, her guilt, or her sin. Its all about him and keeping his rear end safe. Even as I write this I can think of stories my friends have told and guys I've encountered in my own life who are completely an Adam. Don't get me wrong - we needed Adam, we needed him to toil the ground and be the father of the human race, but that doesn't mean that he was right or good just because we needed him. The same is true today, just because we want (or even say that we need) a man, doesn't make all of them right. You want to strike at a woman's heart? Attack her relationships, let her down.
Women are so often looking for our heart's companion - we look to the countless Adams of this world and we are constantly let down. Time and time again they show up late for a date, they show up drunk, they made out with some one else, they don't actually love us, they bail on us at the last minute, and so many other things that leave our heart aching. We keep seeking an Adam when we really need Jesus.
Jesus defends us. Think of Mary Magdalene - she is found committing adultery and Jesus defends her as the town circles around to throw stones at her. He stands in front of her and tells everyone to go away, unless they are sinless (which they are not). He defends her.
Jesus fights for our honor. He dies on the cross that our honor would be restored, He dies so that sin does not have power over us.
Jesus takes the blame for us. Again, He dies on the cross, "He was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins" (Isaiah 53:5). He takes our shame, our pain, our sins upon His back. He takes our place on the cross that should have been ours.
Jesus gives us hope. He tells us that He is preparing a room for us in His Father's house and that He will come for us (John 14:1-4). He tells us, reminds us that we know the way and that He will be with us.
Jesus loves us. He takes us, His little sheep and guides us, He speaks to us, He send us the Advocate. Jesus loves us.
Where Adam failed, Jesus triumphs in a blaze of unending love. Seek Jesus. There are real men out there, real men who are striving to be like Jesus in a world seemingly full of Adams. Guys - do you want to know how to find love? Be love. Imitate Jesus, not Adam. Be a Man. So here's my top ten suggestions, based on the love Christ shows all of us (all of these are true whether the girl you are thinking of is your best friend, your sister, your crush or your wife):
How to Be a MAN and Love Women:
10. Do what you say you will. Call if you said you were going to (don't just send a text).
9. Be where you say you are going to be, when you say you are going to be there.
8. Be there for us - don't flake out, back out at the last minute, don't sell us out when the Lord comes a knockin'
7. Defend our honor (with special reference to our chastity of mind, body and soul).
6. Be there and listen. God listened to Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, and even though He didn't take the cup from Jesus, He listened. (You may not be able to solve our problems, but you can always listen and console us - God sent an angel to comfort Jesus [Luke 22:43] in the Garden.)
5. Share your heart with us, and we'll share ours with you.
4. Love us like we are the only girl in the world. (Jesus was thinking of each one of us INDIVIDUALLY as He hung on the cross)
3. Seek Jesus before you seek us. You can't possibly love us unless you are allowing yourself to be filled with His holy love.
2. Be a spiritual leader - lead us closer to, not further from Jesus.
1. Imitate Jesus. Love us like He loves the Church (Ephesians 5:22-27).
Its too good not to quote:
"Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish"
Monday, May 23, 2011
my future Spouse
I love him. I may not even know who he is, but I love him.
Maybe that sounds silly, but who ever it is that God has chosen for me...he's out there. How could I possibly love him if I don't even know that I know him? I may not be able to put a face to him just yet, but I pray for him. Its the best possible gift you can give your future spouse: pray for them now. I would love to have my husband on our wedding night tell me that he's been praying for me and waiting to finally be married to me for forever - its not cheesy, its romantic, its beautiful, its meaningful, and its rooted in Love itself.
The trick, however, isn't to pray for him to come into your life or to whisk you away on his white horse. Nope, I'll let God write that love story. The trick is to pray for him, for his heart, for his purity, for his health, for the love he'll one day have for you.
If you're anything like me (and heaven help you if you are) then you probably day dream about your future spouse from time to time, especially when praying about them. In my mind, I don't like to see a blank face, I want to see a face when I dream of walking down the aisle one day. Put Jesus' face there. Imagine walking towards Jesus, giving yourself to Him in this awesome Sacrament (this works better for girls, but guys you get my drift). I've found this visualization to be extraordinarily awesome for a few reasons:
1. I'm walking towards Jesus. What could be better? I'm giving myself over to Him, and I'm giving my heart to Him as I wait for the man He has chosen for me to marry.
2. It sets the standards high. If I am constantly visualizing myself walking down the aisle with Jesus, being married to Jesus, then when some guy comes along who doesn't treat me as well as He does, then it gets a lot easier to kick him to the curb. I'd rather spend the rest of my days dreaming about Jesus than spend one more second with a guy who thinks I'm not worth much more than x, y or z.
3. I'm seeing Jesus. I want a man who is going to be a spiritual leader in our relationship, who can lead me (and hopefully someday our children) to the foot of the cross. If I'm imagining Jesus, then when I meet someone its that much easier to ask myself if he is worthy of leading me and someday of leading children to Jesus.
You may not know who God has chosen for you, but pray for them anyway. Now, a few thoughts from a few songs that always get me through my rougher times:
"Pray" by Dierks Bentley
This one is about praying for past loves, which is, I think, just as important as praying for your future love. "I'll pray that love will bless and find you, pray for joy and happiness, pray for two strong arms to hold you...pray." Praying such a prayer keeps bitterness from old relationships from taking over your heart. I want to love them enough, even after the relationship has ended, to pray for their happiness. I think that it is only by loving our past, or at least being at peace with it, that we can love in the future.
"Wait For Me" by Rebecca St. James
Such a cute song, and totally true for most girls I know. Rebecca talks about dreaming about her future spouse and about praying for him. She prays that he will keep her loving eyes only for her. "I am waiting for you darling, wait for me as I wait for you", you may not know your spouse yet, but wait in hope, wait for them in the hope that they are waiting for you too.
"Not Myself" by John Mayer
One of my favorite songs, quite possibly ever. John asks "would you want me when I'm not myself?" God knows what time we are to meet and fall in love with our future spouse. Rushing that could only bring disaster and heartache. I want my husband whenever God is ready for me to meet him, and not a moment sooner. I'll love my husband and all of his faults (and if he's anything like me, he'll have a few) and once we're married (and even before then, I'm sure) I'll love him even when he's not being himself. But until that time comes along, I don't want to rush the slow work of God. And then John sings those words that always make me smile (and truly speak to the loving ways of God), "And I, in time, will come around...I always do, for you."
Pray. God is working, trust in His plan and when you find yourself doubting it, just imagine yourself walking towards your future spouse and say a little prayer for them, where ever they might be.
Maybe that sounds silly, but who ever it is that God has chosen for me...he's out there. How could I possibly love him if I don't even know that I know him? I may not be able to put a face to him just yet, but I pray for him. Its the best possible gift you can give your future spouse: pray for them now. I would love to have my husband on our wedding night tell me that he's been praying for me and waiting to finally be married to me for forever - its not cheesy, its romantic, its beautiful, its meaningful, and its rooted in Love itself.
The trick, however, isn't to pray for him to come into your life or to whisk you away on his white horse. Nope, I'll let God write that love story. The trick is to pray for him, for his heart, for his purity, for his health, for the love he'll one day have for you.
If you're anything like me (and heaven help you if you are) then you probably day dream about your future spouse from time to time, especially when praying about them. In my mind, I don't like to see a blank face, I want to see a face when I dream of walking down the aisle one day. Put Jesus' face there. Imagine walking towards Jesus, giving yourself to Him in this awesome Sacrament (this works better for girls, but guys you get my drift). I've found this visualization to be extraordinarily awesome for a few reasons:
1. I'm walking towards Jesus. What could be better? I'm giving myself over to Him, and I'm giving my heart to Him as I wait for the man He has chosen for me to marry.
2. It sets the standards high. If I am constantly visualizing myself walking down the aisle with Jesus, being married to Jesus, then when some guy comes along who doesn't treat me as well as He does, then it gets a lot easier to kick him to the curb. I'd rather spend the rest of my days dreaming about Jesus than spend one more second with a guy who thinks I'm not worth much more than x, y or z.
3. I'm seeing Jesus. I want a man who is going to be a spiritual leader in our relationship, who can lead me (and hopefully someday our children) to the foot of the cross. If I'm imagining Jesus, then when I meet someone its that much easier to ask myself if he is worthy of leading me and someday of leading children to Jesus.
You may not know who God has chosen for you, but pray for them anyway. Now, a few thoughts from a few songs that always get me through my rougher times:
"Pray" by Dierks Bentley
This one is about praying for past loves, which is, I think, just as important as praying for your future love. "I'll pray that love will bless and find you, pray for joy and happiness, pray for two strong arms to hold you...pray." Praying such a prayer keeps bitterness from old relationships from taking over your heart. I want to love them enough, even after the relationship has ended, to pray for their happiness. I think that it is only by loving our past, or at least being at peace with it, that we can love in the future.
"Wait For Me" by Rebecca St. James
Such a cute song, and totally true for most girls I know. Rebecca talks about dreaming about her future spouse and about praying for him. She prays that he will keep her loving eyes only for her. "I am waiting for you darling, wait for me as I wait for you", you may not know your spouse yet, but wait in hope, wait for them in the hope that they are waiting for you too.
"Not Myself" by John Mayer
One of my favorite songs, quite possibly ever. John asks "would you want me when I'm not myself?" God knows what time we are to meet and fall in love with our future spouse. Rushing that could only bring disaster and heartache. I want my husband whenever God is ready for me to meet him, and not a moment sooner. I'll love my husband and all of his faults (and if he's anything like me, he'll have a few) and once we're married (and even before then, I'm sure) I'll love him even when he's not being himself. But until that time comes along, I don't want to rush the slow work of God. And then John sings those words that always make me smile (and truly speak to the loving ways of God), "And I, in time, will come around...I always do, for you."
Pray. God is working, trust in His plan and when you find yourself doubting it, just imagine yourself walking towards your future spouse and say a little prayer for them, where ever they might be.
Monday, May 16, 2011
greener Pastures
"Jesus said:
"Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever does not enter a sheepfold through the gate but climbs over elsewhere is a thief and a robber. But whoever enters through the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens it for him, and the sheep hear his voice, as the shepherd calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has driven out all his own, he walks ahead of them, and the sheep follow him, because they recognize his voice. But they will not follow a stranger; they will run away from him, because they do not recognize the voice of strangers." Although Jesus used this figure of speech, the Pharisees did not realize what he was trying to tell them.
So Jesus said again, "Amen, amen, I say to you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate. Whoever enters through me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture. A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I cam so that they might have life and have it more abundantly." - John 10:1-10
That was the Gospel reading from this past Sunday. Father Peter Mussett gave a wonderful homily that I've been pondering and meditating upon ever since Mass Saturday night. He said that God loves us too much to leave us where we are. Sometimes He has to move us, shepherd us to greener pastures so that we can continue to be fed.
Do you ever feel like you are running at a locked door? Beating your head up against a wall? Try and try, but just can't succeed? (Now I'm beginning to sound like a cheesy ad for a self-help book or a late-night infomercial.) Perhaps you are trying to feed yourself in a pasture that is no longer green. Heaven knows I've felt this a lot lately, which is why this reading and homily hit me upside the head this weekend. I'm trying to feed myself (or be fed, however you want to look at it) in a pasture that simply isn't green.
How often are people compared to sheep in the Bible? Quite often. Why? Sheep are dumb. [at least that's what my theology classes taught me!] Sheep have to be led, they have to be shepherded, and so do we. Sheep, left to their own devices, would continue grazing in a field that is dead and can offer them nothing to eat. Sheep, left to their own devices, die, quite quickly. So, if you find yourself feeling like you are spinning your wheels, take a step back and as yourself - is God calling me, leading me to a greener pasture? Its not necessarily the "grass is greener on the other side" notion, but a real question, perhaps a real calling from God.
The Good Lord knows this is where I've been lately. I'm eating and eating and not being filled. So much in my life is about to change, and more and more he's showing me that just about EVERYTHING in my life is going to change. I'm being called to a different field, I can't take this or that blade of grass with me when I follow Him to the new pasture. Sometimes, we are only moving a little to the left or right and we can be fed. Sometimes, the whole pasture is dead and we have to move to a completely new place to be fed. Its different for everyone. The question then becomes not, "how far away is the next field?", but rather, "how far am I willing to follow God, listen to His voice, trusting that He will lead me to a greener, richer pasture?" And this is where the Catholic Church ROCKS. The answer is in the psalm from this Sunday, "The Lord is my shepherd...in verdant pastures he gives me repose; beside restful waters he leads me; he refreshes my soul. He guides me in right paths, for his name's sake...you spread the table before me in the sight of my foes; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows...I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for years to come" (Psalm 23, NAB).
Lord, lead me by your still waters. Shepherd me to greener pastures. Speak your words into my heart that I would have the courage to follow you. I am your sheep, help me to know your voice. Move me where you will so that I can be fed and you can refresh my soul. AMEN.
"Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever does not enter a sheepfold through the gate but climbs over elsewhere is a thief and a robber. But whoever enters through the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens it for him, and the sheep hear his voice, as the shepherd calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has driven out all his own, he walks ahead of them, and the sheep follow him, because they recognize his voice. But they will not follow a stranger; they will run away from him, because they do not recognize the voice of strangers." Although Jesus used this figure of speech, the Pharisees did not realize what he was trying to tell them.
So Jesus said again, "Amen, amen, I say to you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate. Whoever enters through me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture. A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I cam so that they might have life and have it more abundantly." - John 10:1-10
That was the Gospel reading from this past Sunday. Father Peter Mussett gave a wonderful homily that I've been pondering and meditating upon ever since Mass Saturday night. He said that God loves us too much to leave us where we are. Sometimes He has to move us, shepherd us to greener pastures so that we can continue to be fed.
Do you ever feel like you are running at a locked door? Beating your head up against a wall? Try and try, but just can't succeed? (Now I'm beginning to sound like a cheesy ad for a self-help book or a late-night infomercial.) Perhaps you are trying to feed yourself in a pasture that is no longer green. Heaven knows I've felt this a lot lately, which is why this reading and homily hit me upside the head this weekend. I'm trying to feed myself (or be fed, however you want to look at it) in a pasture that simply isn't green.
How often are people compared to sheep in the Bible? Quite often. Why? Sheep are dumb. [at least that's what my theology classes taught me!] Sheep have to be led, they have to be shepherded, and so do we. Sheep, left to their own devices, would continue grazing in a field that is dead and can offer them nothing to eat. Sheep, left to their own devices, die, quite quickly. So, if you find yourself feeling like you are spinning your wheels, take a step back and as yourself - is God calling me, leading me to a greener pasture? Its not necessarily the "grass is greener on the other side" notion, but a real question, perhaps a real calling from God.
The Good Lord knows this is where I've been lately. I'm eating and eating and not being filled. So much in my life is about to change, and more and more he's showing me that just about EVERYTHING in my life is going to change. I'm being called to a different field, I can't take this or that blade of grass with me when I follow Him to the new pasture. Sometimes, we are only moving a little to the left or right and we can be fed. Sometimes, the whole pasture is dead and we have to move to a completely new place to be fed. Its different for everyone. The question then becomes not, "how far away is the next field?", but rather, "how far am I willing to follow God, listen to His voice, trusting that He will lead me to a greener, richer pasture?" And this is where the Catholic Church ROCKS. The answer is in the psalm from this Sunday, "The Lord is my shepherd...in verdant pastures he gives me repose; beside restful waters he leads me; he refreshes my soul. He guides me in right paths, for his name's sake...you spread the table before me in the sight of my foes; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows...I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for years to come" (Psalm 23, NAB).
Lord, lead me by your still waters. Shepherd me to greener pastures. Speak your words into my heart that I would have the courage to follow you. I am your sheep, help me to know your voice. Move me where you will so that I can be fed and you can refresh my soul. AMEN.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
natural Disasters
I'm oddly obsessed with natural disasters. As Jennifer Garner says in one of my favorite movies, "I love natural disasters. I want people to die in them. I am genuinely disappointed when the death toll is low."
Maybe I don't want people to die in them (valuing human life is pretty high up there in importance in my religion) but I love to watch them. I love to see the destruction, the desolation, the sheer force with which a good tornado can rip apart our world. [I should include a disclaimer, I don't love the destruction, I love seeing it...read on and this will make more sense.] I love staring at pictures of the aftermath of a huge hurricane or earthquake, its terrifyingly awesome.
Now that I sound like some wildly deranged person, let me explain. I've come to realize exactly why I am so obsessed with natural disasters: they are a chance to start over. They are terrifying, but it is so beautiful to see people come together and rebuild. I think on some level its nice to see in the world what I feel like happens in our daily lives. How many times do we feel like a tornado just ripped through our world? We lose our jobs. The dream job turns out to be the source of seemingly unending pain and torment. The love of our life walks out or dies. Parents get divorced. Children are lost all too soon. Planes fly into buildings, bombs explode. We experience natural disasters everyday, so on some level (for me at least) seeing actual destruction can be healing. We see it, we acknowledge it, we admit it, we accept it...and then we move on. We rebuild.
I like natural disasters because they have the power to take everything we've ever known, owned, needed or loved...and they challenge us to keep going. We are destroyed and in our despair we turn to God and with His help, His grace, His love, we rebuild. We start over. Maybe we even build something better than we had before, much like the story of Job. Sometimes we need a natural disaster, a tornado, an earthquake, a hurricane to rip through our lives so that we can start over, plant a garden and let the flowers bloom.
C.S. Lewis says it quite well in his book "A Grief Observed": "But of course, one must take 'sent to try us' in the right way. God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize that fact was to knock it down."
Let us be knocked down so that, by His grace, we can be rebuilt according to His plan for our lives.
Maybe I don't want people to die in them (valuing human life is pretty high up there in importance in my religion) but I love to watch them. I love to see the destruction, the desolation, the sheer force with which a good tornado can rip apart our world. [I should include a disclaimer, I don't love the destruction, I love seeing it...read on and this will make more sense.] I love staring at pictures of the aftermath of a huge hurricane or earthquake, its terrifyingly awesome.
Now that I sound like some wildly deranged person, let me explain. I've come to realize exactly why I am so obsessed with natural disasters: they are a chance to start over. They are terrifying, but it is so beautiful to see people come together and rebuild. I think on some level its nice to see in the world what I feel like happens in our daily lives. How many times do we feel like a tornado just ripped through our world? We lose our jobs. The dream job turns out to be the source of seemingly unending pain and torment. The love of our life walks out or dies. Parents get divorced. Children are lost all too soon. Planes fly into buildings, bombs explode. We experience natural disasters everyday, so on some level (for me at least) seeing actual destruction can be healing. We see it, we acknowledge it, we admit it, we accept it...and then we move on. We rebuild.
I like natural disasters because they have the power to take everything we've ever known, owned, needed or loved...and they challenge us to keep going. We are destroyed and in our despair we turn to God and with His help, His grace, His love, we rebuild. We start over. Maybe we even build something better than we had before, much like the story of Job. Sometimes we need a natural disaster, a tornado, an earthquake, a hurricane to rip through our lives so that we can start over, plant a garden and let the flowers bloom.
C.S. Lewis says it quite well in his book "A Grief Observed": "But of course, one must take 'sent to try us' in the right way. God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize that fact was to knock it down."
Let us be knocked down so that, by His grace, we can be rebuilt according to His plan for our lives.
Monday, May 2, 2011
a princess at Heart
Ok, I'll admit it, I got totally into the Royal Wedding this weekend. I watched so much coverage of it on Friday that Friday night I dreamt in British accents. So why is that we (and perhaps I mean girls here, far more than I am talking to my male friends) get so caught up in the princesses? Think about it.
Kate Middleton.
Cinderella.
Ariel.
Julia Stiles in the Prince and Me.
Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries.
We eat the stories up, stories of girls who seemed to be nothing more than ordinary and they end up being the princess, the one that some great man longs for, seeks, pines for, defends, loves. Why do we eat them up? Why do we watch the movies and the wedding over and over again? Isn't it obvious? We want to be the princess. So often we are told (or all too often we tell ourselves) that we are no more than ordinary, we have nothing extraordinary to offer. We long to be discovered, to be told that we are beautiful, to be swept up in a fairytale romance. We want some great man to seek us, to pine over us, to daydream about us, to defend us and, ultimately, to love and marry us.
As a woman there is something written deep, so deep on our hearts that cannot be denied. Oh, don't get me wrong, we try to deny it. We try so hard. We make ourselves believe that we are no Kate Middleton, nor will we ever be. We can't. We aren't the princess, we aren't worthy of that. We weren't made for that. How wrong we are my dear sisters, how wrong we are.
We get swept up in these fairytale stories because seeing those women, watching them get their happy endings awakens in our own hearts the desire to be a princess. Ok, maybe we aren't ALL going to marry Prince Harry, but that doesn't mean we can't be princeless-like (and just think, we'd have far less press to deal with if we don't ACTUALLY marry a prince!). We see these stories and something in our heart is stirred, it sits up, wakes up and says YES! That is what I want! Why have I been laying back thinking that I deserve any less?
It is at that moment that Satan breaks in. He tries to remind us how ordinary we are, how plain, boring, not smart, not pretty, uncool, not lovely, not enticing, not, not, not. And isn't he doing a great job? The wedding is over and we put our hearts back to sleep, we tell ourselves "that's nice for her, but that's just not my story." But it IS our story. It is the story we are meant for, the story we are created for. We are created to be romanced, to be pursued, to be fought for, defended, and loved, in a profound and life-changing way. We are all meant to have that man (yes, even religious sisters and consecrated women) who pursues us, who takes us dancing, brings us home to Mom and Dad to show us off, gives us some sentimental gift for Christmas that just makes our jaws drop. We are all meant to be princesses, to be crowned with a love that sets our hearts on fire and puts a glow on our faces that can light up an entire country.
{These ideas are not entirely my own. I HIGHLY recommend "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge for more on what it means to be a woman. This book continues to change the way I look at myself and at the world!}
Awaken your heart. You are worthy of that princess story, you are meant for that fairytale. Embrace your inner princess and remember that you ARE worthy. You are a child of the God of the Universe, a child of the King of Kings and therefore you are already a princess. Remember who God created you to be and live for the fairytale you were created for.
Kate Middleton.
Cinderella.
Ariel.
Julia Stiles in the Prince and Me.
Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries.
We eat the stories up, stories of girls who seemed to be nothing more than ordinary and they end up being the princess, the one that some great man longs for, seeks, pines for, defends, loves. Why do we eat them up? Why do we watch the movies and the wedding over and over again? Isn't it obvious? We want to be the princess. So often we are told (or all too often we tell ourselves) that we are no more than ordinary, we have nothing extraordinary to offer. We long to be discovered, to be told that we are beautiful, to be swept up in a fairytale romance. We want some great man to seek us, to pine over us, to daydream about us, to defend us and, ultimately, to love and marry us.
As a woman there is something written deep, so deep on our hearts that cannot be denied. Oh, don't get me wrong, we try to deny it. We try so hard. We make ourselves believe that we are no Kate Middleton, nor will we ever be. We can't. We aren't the princess, we aren't worthy of that. We weren't made for that. How wrong we are my dear sisters, how wrong we are.
We get swept up in these fairytale stories because seeing those women, watching them get their happy endings awakens in our own hearts the desire to be a princess. Ok, maybe we aren't ALL going to marry Prince Harry, but that doesn't mean we can't be princeless-like (and just think, we'd have far less press to deal with if we don't ACTUALLY marry a prince!). We see these stories and something in our heart is stirred, it sits up, wakes up and says YES! That is what I want! Why have I been laying back thinking that I deserve any less?
It is at that moment that Satan breaks in. He tries to remind us how ordinary we are, how plain, boring, not smart, not pretty, uncool, not lovely, not enticing, not, not, not. And isn't he doing a great job? The wedding is over and we put our hearts back to sleep, we tell ourselves "that's nice for her, but that's just not my story." But it IS our story. It is the story we are meant for, the story we are created for. We are created to be romanced, to be pursued, to be fought for, defended, and loved, in a profound and life-changing way. We are all meant to have that man (yes, even religious sisters and consecrated women) who pursues us, who takes us dancing, brings us home to Mom and Dad to show us off, gives us some sentimental gift for Christmas that just makes our jaws drop. We are all meant to be princesses, to be crowned with a love that sets our hearts on fire and puts a glow on our faces that can light up an entire country.
{These ideas are not entirely my own. I HIGHLY recommend "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge for more on what it means to be a woman. This book continues to change the way I look at myself and at the world!}
Awaken your heart. You are worthy of that princess story, you are meant for that fairytale. Embrace your inner princess and remember that you ARE worthy. You are a child of the God of the Universe, a child of the King of Kings and therefore you are already a princess. Remember who God created you to be and live for the fairytale you were created for.
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